Watching other people cry is always worse than crying himself, Jungkook thinks. His own eyes are dry, and it almost feels like a betrayal, face too calm and steady in comparison to the clash of emotions in his chest. He hates having his fears confirmed, even though there's a part of him that knew, just knew that there was no way around this. That it would be foolish to think, even for a second, that there wasn't something more complicated behind the kisses.
Maybe it was obvious because all of them have always been wanting for affection in one way or another. Namjoon, who shoulders all the responsibility of an adult and has no time to be doted on as a child. Seokjin, whose parents see him as never living up to the family image, the family name. Yoongi, for whom the loss of a mother tore father and son apart, neither managing to be quite what the other needs. Jimin, whose parents never seem to afford him any time at all. Taehyung, for whom a father's touch only comes in blows.
And Hoseok, whose mother left him entirely.
They've all been needing in ways that even the deepest of friendships can't quite fix — trying to fill their pails with water when the real problem is that each one of them is cracked, leaking.
When Hoseok says that he wants to stop wanting people who won't ever want him back, Jungkook wonders if perhaps Hoseok's own mother is the one who tops that list.
"You're not hurting me, hyung," Jungkook says gently, voice rough with emotion. There aren't words good enough for this, no words that can be an adequate salve. "I just wish I could help it stop hurting for you."
He raises his free hand, brushing bent knuckles over the tears on Hoseok's cheeks, brow knit in concentration.
"Hyung. There are people who love you, you know. And maybe right now, it's not the right people, or it's not enough... but one day, it will be the right person," Jungkook murmurs, gaze skirting to the side for a second as he wavers, tries to figure out a way to ease the ache without tangling their lives even further. "I know that there's already someone out there for whom you're precious in ways I can't describe. Maybe it's not who you want it to be. But someday it'll match up. It takes time, you know? We're still young."
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Maybe it was obvious because all of them have always been wanting for affection in one way or another. Namjoon, who shoulders all the responsibility of an adult and has no time to be doted on as a child. Seokjin, whose parents see him as never living up to the family image, the family name. Yoongi, for whom the loss of a mother tore father and son apart, neither managing to be quite what the other needs. Jimin, whose parents never seem to afford him any time at all. Taehyung, for whom a father's touch only comes in blows.
And Hoseok, whose mother left him entirely.
They've all been needing in ways that even the deepest of friendships can't quite fix — trying to fill their pails with water when the real problem is that each one of them is cracked, leaking.
When Hoseok says that he wants to stop wanting people who won't ever want him back, Jungkook wonders if perhaps Hoseok's own mother is the one who tops that list.
"You're not hurting me, hyung," Jungkook says gently, voice rough with emotion. There aren't words good enough for this, no words that can be an adequate salve. "I just wish I could help it stop hurting for you."
He raises his free hand, brushing bent knuckles over the tears on Hoseok's cheeks, brow knit in concentration.
"Hyung. There are people who love you, you know. And maybe right now, it's not the right people, or it's not enough... but one day, it will be the right person," Jungkook murmurs, gaze skirting to the side for a second as he wavers, tries to figure out a way to ease the ache without tangling their lives even further. "I know that there's already someone out there for whom you're precious in ways I can't describe. Maybe it's not who you want it to be. But someday it'll match up. It takes time, you know? We're still young."