lovestrippedbare | 𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕠

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yoongi

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There are times, Jungkook thinks, when unexpected changes in plan work out for the best. Giving up on the idea of Busan during winter break wasn't the easiest choice at the time — Jungkook had expected it to be the highlight of their winter, and giving into the pressure of Yeongwook's blackmailing hurt on multiple levels. But distance seemed safest. Planning, biding their time, having Jungkook carefully siphon a portion of his allowance over to Yoongi for safekeeping, every passing day made the trip feel more viable again, until the two of them suddenly realized that Yoongi's birthday would be an easy occasion to leave for, and that was that.

They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.

Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.

He takes countless pictures with his camera — of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.

Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.

At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.

"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"

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Even though it still feels selfish to have stolen Yoongi for himself for the entirety of this weekend, Jungkook can't help but revel in how freeing it is to be absent of any obligations, even those to the rest of their friends. Jungkook doesn't have to worry about making any of them uncomfortable, doesn't have to worry about not sparing enough of Yoongi's time for the rest of them. He can indulge himself with every look, can pull Yoongi away behind any corner for a kiss. It feels almost too good to be true, but it reinforces the knowledge in Jungkook's mind that this is all he wants. This is how he wants the rest of his life to play out, at Yoongi's side, the two of them together.

The smile that he wears now is affectionate, even proud. He cups Yoongi's jaw with his hand, letting the other arm snake around his waist, pulling him close. When the two of them are pressed up against each other like this, it emphasizes their height difference, and Jungkook finds himself quietly pleased with the way it feels to crane his neck just so, keeping Yoongi close and letting himself be protective.

"Are you happy?" Jungkook asks, even though the answer seems obvious. He still wants to hear it, wants to etch every moment firmly in his memory — of what it's like to see Yoongi like this, so many of his burdens lifted. That's always mattered most to Jungkook, more even than his own well-being.

Hands curling in Jungkook's shirt, Yoongi looks up at him, his own smile soft and fond. "I am," he says, and he feels it entirely. There are times when even his happiness is tinged with melancholy, but there's nothing like that here, only a warm and quiet content running through him. They've had months of this, and still it takes him a little by surprise when he just stands here and lets himself feel it. For so long, he didn't think he'd get this kind of happiness in his life; now he can't imagine living without it.

He leans into the hand at his cheek, eyes fluttering briefly closed. They're free, nothing hold them back from simply being as they are. Wandering the street stalls and eating whatever catches their eye is something they could easily do back home, but it's different here, the caution and concern lifting away. There's only them. He wants to hold onto this forever.

"I'm so happy." He tugs gently at fabric, urging Jungkook closer still. "You make me so happy."

Yoongi says that he's happy, and Jungkook feels the words almost more than he hears them — in the way Yoongi's fingers curl in the fabric of Jungkook's jacket, in the way Yoongi leans into Jungkook's palm. Jungkook lets out a small exhale, almost a laugh, struck again by how often he still has these moments where he suddenly and wholly falls in love with Yoongi, over and over again. There's nothing in the world better than sharing these feelings out and in the open, with few worries hanging over their heads.

Perhaps this is when he should say something — a word of thanks for sharing this weekend, or an attempt to explain again just how dear Yoongi is to Jungkook, but Jungkook finds that nothing that comes to mind can quite suffice.

So instead, he leans in again and presses his lips tenderly to Yoongi's, holding the contact for a couple of seconds before he deepens the kiss, mapping the line of Yoongi's mouth and letting his tongue slip out to taste. There's still a sweetness lingering on the skin, probably from the hotteok, and Jungkook chases after it insistently.

"I love you," he breathes, lips curving into a smile.

There was a time not that long ago when even telling Seokjin he's bisexual was terrifying to Yoongi. He nearly broke down, confessing to something Jin had already figured out. He was so fucking scared back then, afraid of being discovered, afraid that Jungkook would find out, afraid of what people would do if they knew. It's a fear that has permeated this relationship at times, colored his view of what is and isn't safe, which parts of himself he can freely indulge and which longings have to stay hidden if they stray from the sanctity of his bedroom.

And then there's this, now, and Yoongi's heart soars when Jungkook kisses him and all he feels is loved and safe and excited. Hopeful. "I love you," he echoes, scarcely breaking away before he's leaning into him again, chasing more, always more. He's long found it easy to jump to the worst possible outcome in his imagination; right now, he doesn't care. What could anyone do if they saw them? The two of them are invincible like this, never safer or stronger than they are together.

Hundreds of miles away from Seoul, Jungkook finds that he's never felt more at home. All he ever needs is this, to have Yoongi in his arms, to feel his warmth and the way his lips chase after Jungkook's own. Jungkook groans softly against the contact, heart thudding in his ears, and reminds himself that it's okay to take things slowly. They have the luxury of time and distance, the luxury of being so entirely safe and secure together as a pair; Jungkook lets his fingers slowly weave through the soft strands of Yoongi's hair, tousling them as the tip of his tongue presses carefully further, waiting for permission.

The situation is probably at least a little ridiculous, the two of them tucked away like this amidst empty produce boxes and dusty tarps. There's no view of the sea, no mountaintops or noticeable horizon, but when they're together, Jungkook finds that any place can be just about perfect.

"At this rate," he huffs through a laugh as he leans back for air, "it's going to be pretty tough for me to walk in a minute."

Yoongi laughs, ducking his head to press a kiss to Jungkook's neck, mostly to keep himself from finding his lips again. "Maybe we should stop," he says against his skin, though his grip on Jungkook's shirt doesn't loosen any. It's not like they can get away with doing anything more than kissing back here, but he can't bring himself to let go or pull away just yet. There's something thrilling about kissing outdoors. There's little chance anyone will come back here, but even so, there's a touch of danger mixed with the relief of being able to follow his desire.

"I can't help it," he adds, "if I always want you." How could anyone expect him to? His boyfriend is gorgeous and entirely his; of course he can barely keep his hands off of him. "But maybe we should go find more food."

"If you're not going to be the mature one, how do you expect me to stand any chance?" Jungkook laughs, his hands dropping to Yoongi's hips and pulling him just a little closer still. It's chilly enough out that their jackets are too thick for him to really feel anything, but even the lean of Yoongi's weight is enough to excite Jungkook. And maybe, he thinks to himself, it's okay to let himself get a little bit excited. Who's even going to notice out there? People don't tend to stare at strangers for too long.

"I always want you, too," he murmurs, leaning forward and briefly nipping at Yoongi's lower lip. "But... you're right. We should probably find more food. And then head out towards the water. 'Cause I really wanna kiss you with the endless ocean stretching out in front of us."

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, tongue swiping gently over the spot where he feels marked by Jungkook's teeth, and shakes his head. "And you think I'm the romantic one," he teases. The idea of it is so beautiful that Yoongi finds himself distracted from the distraction, ready to head back out into the world if it means they end up on the beach, no one else in sight, nothing but the crash of the waves and their lips meeting.

"Come on," he says, hand dragging down Jungkook's arm until he can link their fingers together, the press of Jungkook's palm helping to warm him again. Tugging him back out and toward the street, he looks over, letting his gaze linger. Busan suits Jungkook, he decides. They've hardly seen any of it yet, but he believes it all the same. "I want to find some ddeokbokki."

They're romantic in different ways, Jungkook knows, though he doesn't bother to protest Yoongi's point. For Jungkook, he feels like years of stories and fairy tales have built up in his mind and woven a compendium of experiences he knows he wants to share. Even if some of them end up being overly hyped, even if so many of the ideas are stereotypical to a fault, there's still the desire to grab after every one with Yoongi and file them away in his memory. And with Jungkook's bias leaning towards more visual experiences, he figures the ability to catalog every image will at least make such escapes unregrettable.

He wants to kiss Yoongi in front of the ocean. He wants to kiss Yoongi on a bridge, lifted high above the water and with cars rushing in the background. He wants to kiss Yoongi on the top of Namsan Tower, wants to kiss him behind one of the back fences at school — all the places that have been meaningful or that Jungkook dreams of are places where he wants Yoongi to feature.

It's really as simple as that.

But romance from Yoongi is another matter entirely, little gestures and moments that wouldn't mean half as much if they were shared by anyone else. And that, Jungkook thinks, is just as precious to him, if not more.

Grinning broadly as soon as he feels Yoongi's fingers slip into his own, Jungkook picks up the pace and heads back toward the street. "Ddeokbokki sounds so good, I saw a place where everyone was lined up. The ddeok were, like, huge! Twice the thickness of anything I've seen back home," Jungkook says, nodding at the stall some distance away.

Yoongi strokes his thumb along Jungkook's hand, glancing over with a bright smile as he follows in the direction Jungkook indicates. It's only, he thinks, because people scarcely pay attention to the people they pass that they're able to avoid being noticed, because he's pretty sure there's no hiding how fucking smitten he is. He might have tried, if they were back in Seoul, but here, he really doesn't give a fuck. His boyfriend is romantic and ridiculous all at once, and he doesn't care who knows it.

"Well, then we have to try it," he says. He's not a fan of long lines, but they don't bother him so much when the two of them are out and about together. It's easy enough to keep each other entertained while they wait. "This one here?" He eyes the stall curiously, taking in the sight of the food and the rich smell wafting over from the stand.

"Yeah, that's the one," Jungkook says, his smile widening eagerly as he pushes himself up on his toes to get a better look over the crowd, intrigued by how much sauce is simmering in the pan. There's a nice variety of ingredients that seem to be mixed together, including some vegetables, some fish cakes, something fried that Jungkook can't quite identify at a glance. Ddeokbokki stalls might be a dime a dozen back home, but he's pleased to have found a place that seems to have changed the formula a little bit, and the long line seems indicate that they've chosen well.

"Ah, look, it must be spicy," he points out, watching a couple of teens off to the side gasping and reaching for water. He squeezes Yoongi's hand, then lets his thumb trace along the side of his palm, the movement small enough to be unnoticeable to everyone else. "Man, I thought I was full earlier, but now I think I could eat two orders of that stuff. Or maybe save some room for grilled sundae."

Edited 2019-03-09 01:57 (UTC)

Yoongi huffs out a laugh. "Keep it up," he teases, "and we'll have to roll down the beach." It's not about to stop him, though, from sampling everything Busan has to offer. So many of the foods here are the same ones they'd find at home, but everything about the stalls seems different to him. Some of it is the differing recipes, but some of it, he knows, is just that he's excited to be here. As it turns out, feeling free makes everything taste better.

And it does smell delicious, the rich scent lingering on the air, promising something new and sharp and spicy.

"Two orders, you think? Not just for you, obviously."

"Would you still love me then?" Jungkook asks, snickering at the mental image. His metabolism has yet to fail him with being able to process greater amounts of food when he decides to treat himself a little, but he has to admit that the thought of being relaxed and indulging with Yoongi, picking up a few pounds here or there over time, isn't a bad one. He's seen pictures of his parents together before his dad died, and there's no doubt that both of them had picked up a little between their wedding and raising Jungkook.

It's kind of nice, Jungkook thinks.

"Ah, fine, I'll just eat the one order. Unless yours ends up being too spicy for you," Jungkook teases, even though he's pretty sure that Yoongi can handle his spice just about as well as Jungkook does.

"Little brat," Yoongi says, and it's a term of endearment, his hand squeezing Jungkook's as they take another step forward, the line advancing bit by bit. Granted, he may not have much right to call Jungkook little, even on his own birthday; he's resigned himself to not growing anymore while Jungkook only seems to get taller and taller. That's never going to stop him.

He huffs, smile managing to be at once fond and wry. "Of course I'll still love you. Even if you're big as a house, I'll love you." He realizes after he's said it that he's forgotten to keep his voice down, but everyone around them is engaged in their own conversations and none of them seem to have noticed or cared. Besides, there's no one here who poses a real threat to them.

Edited 2019-03-10 08:48 (UTC)

Words of endearment or not, no one around them seems to mind, and Jungkook finds his shoulders relaxing further still at how normal it all is. How they're just like any other pair of young adults out here, enjoying food, enjoying the slow transition of winter to spring. Maybe it's just his imagination, but the weather really does seem warmer down here, the world a little brighter and the possibility felt with every hint of the salty air that brushes by.

"Yeah, I've got you pretty good, huh?" Jungkook smiles, tilting his head back and forth. The past three months have been more than enough time for Jungkook to feel fully confident in them, to erase even the slightest trace of doubt that they might be fueled by the newness of a relationship. No, this isn't some honeymoon phase, Jungkook's sure — they've been comfortable with each other since forever, and now it's simply a matter of how much freedom the world will give them.

"But y'know, I really might become big as a house someday. Gotta keep hitting up the gym," Jungkook smirks, raising his free arm and flexing. There's really not anything that can be seen through the loose sleeve of his jacket, but Jungkook knows he's bulked up a bit since the year before, maybe even a tiny bit since winter. He likes the feeling of really using his body to exhaustion, seeing what it can do.

It doesn't hurt that he has extra incentive now, loving the way it feels to be able to pick Yoongi up on a whim, sometimes carrying him all the way from living room to bed.

It's not like Yoongi can see anything, but he can imagine, mind briefly filling in the gap with memories of those muscles under his fingertips, beneath his lips. Not for the first time, he wonders if he should try working out, too, if only to keep up with Jungkook.

He usually ends up deciding he's too lazy for that.

"Yah," he exclaims, rolling his eyes. "Isn't it enough that you're taller than me? You have to be stronger and hotter, too? Leave something for me." Though, considered that way, Yoongi has to admit that, as much as Jungkook has him, he's got Jungkook pretty good, too. No doubt trips to the gym come with their share of eye candy, but Yoongi knows Jungkook's eye never wanders (or, if it ever does, it's equally gratifying to imagine that no one else measures up).

"Stronger, yes. Taller, yes," Jungkook ticks the attributes off one by one, as though proudly claiming his trophies. Some of them aren't necessarily earned — as much as he eats, he's pretty sure that doesn't actually impact how tall he's able to grow — but Jungkook can't deny that there's a bit of pleasure to be found in any way that he manages to catch up to his hyungs. Someday, he hopes that the gap he feels between himself and them will be so small as to be negligible, when he's every bit the responsible adult who's able to pull them all away from work and treat them to a nice meal.

It's one of the better motivators to keep on pushing hard in school.

Lowering the volume of his voice, Jungkook leans in, until the breath from his words fans nicely against the shell of Yoongi's ear. "Never gonna be hotter than you, though," he murmurs. "Pretty sure the way you look when you're fucking me is the hottest anyone can ever get, period."

The sound Yoongi makes at that is small, almost indignant, and he has half a mind to pull Jungkook out of line and to the nearest place they can find some privacy, even if it means heading all the way back to the hotel. He can't help it when just those words brings back flashes of memory, of the way Jungkook feels around and beneath him, the way he tries to watch every single thing Yoongi does even as his head tips back, throat soft and exposed. Fuck, how he wants.

"We'll have to agree to disagree," he says, sotto voce, as he turns to speak into Jungkook's ear in turn. "Because no one's as hot as you are when I fuck you." Desire stirs and sparks within him, and it's a dangerous game, perhaps, when there's really nowhere they can go to sate that growing want, but it's a game two can play and he doesn't like losing.

Although he's so distracted, he doesn't notice at first when the line keeps moving, and he has to take a quick step forward, slightly abashed by his distracting.

Jungkook shivers, can't help but wonder if the movement was visible as he did. Hopefully people won't think twice of it; it's early enough in the year that it's still occasionally chilly, and Jungkook's never been good about dressing appropriately for the weather. But perhaps it's too much to hope that people would draw such an innocuous conclusion when Jungkook can practically feel the fire spreading across his face, when his gaze turns slightly unfocused as his mind gets tugged back to those nights when Yoongi's shoulders stretch broadly over his own, when Jungkook can watch the planes of his stomach as Yoongi fucks into him, slow and torturous.

"Nope," he chirps with a shake of his head, laughing through arousal and embarrassment alike. "No way. I probably look like an idiot, lips gaping and all that." Yoongi wears focus beautifully on his features, a determined look that practically wills music out of the air. In comparison, Jungkook's pretty sure he looks lost, overwhelmed. (At least, sometimes that's how he feels, to be sure.)

But right now, there's the opportunity to laugh when Yoongi clumsily closes the distance between himself and the patron in front of them, Jungkook bumping his shoulder playfully against Yoongi's as he catches up. "Eyes on the prize, Min Yoongi. Can't lose our place for ddeokbokki."

"No, that would be the end of the world," Yoongi agrees wryly. What he wants is to turn to face Jungkook, to take his face in his hands and kiss him, to make sure he knows he doesn't look even a little bit idiotic. He settles for squeezing Jungkook's hand, leaning close to whisper in his ear again. "And you look beautiful. Always beautiful."

It's a simple word, but it's honest. In Yoongi's eyes, at least, Jungkook is perfect as he is, every sound, every gesture art. He wishes he had the skill to make art of it, to turn those moments to music or any other more permanent form. But perhaps that's part of it, how fleeting those nights are, stunning in their impermanence.

Pulling away to step forward again, he makes their order, sneaking glances at Jungkook. The flush in his cheeks is familiar, sending warmth spreading pleasantly through Yoongi's chest; he always looks so good like this.

Beautiful might not be the first word that comes to mind when Jungkook considers his aspirations. He spends so much of his time working on becoming stronger, smarter, more capable and adult. But there's no word that touches him quite as deeply, coming from Yoongi's lips. Beautiful is the type of word that gets attributed to music, to art, to all the things that the two of them love most and have shared since they day they meant, and so it feels precious to hear that word as it pertains to himself as well. After all, Jungkook knows exactly how beautiful he finds Yoongi in every moment, both intimate and the more commonplace.

How beautiful he finds Yoongi right now.

He doesn't put up any argument when Yoongi is the one to place the order this time, eyes trained instead on the shape of Yoongi's jaw, how it seamlessly meets the curve of his neck when he leans forward. How there's such a quiet reliability in everything that Yoongi does, leaving Jungkook feeling safe, no matter where they are. Only once they have their order, one steaming cup for each of them, does Jungkook reach out for Yoongi's hand again.

"You know, moments like those... I mean, obviously I love doing it because it feels good, but it's also. I don't know," Jungkook mumbles behind a smile, fingers toying with the rim of his ddeokbokki cup. "It feels good to be open like that with you. Things that I'll never want to share with anyone else, because with you it's just... safe, and perfect. I don't know if I'm making any sense."

There's something about being out in public together that always heightens Yoongi's awareness of Jungkook. It's all the things he can't do or that he has to lower his voice to say. It's frustrating, but there's a certain pleasure, too, in the restraint required. In the knowledge that he'll make up for it tonight when they get back to their room.

Right now, he'd like to reach over, his hand at Jungkook's cheek, and step closer to kiss him, the food he carries be damned and all the people around them with it. Instead, he simply smiles. "No, you're making perfect sense," he says. He might keep his hands to himself, but he can't take his eyes off of Jungkook. "I don't ever want to share that with anyone else either. I like being yours. In every possible way." It's hard to imagine sharing any of this with another person now. He wouldn't want to; it wouldn't be fair. Even if, by some awful twist of fate, they were separated, he knows he could only ever compare anyone else to Jungkook, always unfavorably.

Even though Jungkook can't say he was looking for any sort of affirmation from Yoongi just then, receiving it pulls the smile to his lips all over again, Jungkook's cheeks flushing faintly as he steps a little closer to Yoongi's side. He's been of a fairly romantic mind as long as he can remember, believing in the notion of soulmates, believing in the joy to be found in sharing oneself completely with another person. Sometimes, he thinks that the reason why his household can't quite fit together seamlessly is because his mother and his stepfather both gave parts of themselves away in previous marriages, and no matter how good they are for one another, it's not quite the same.

Being with Yoongi is like that, Jungkook thinks. There's already a part of him that lives fully with Yoongi, that can't be extricated no matter what else happens in their lives. Perhaps that comes with risks of its own, but Jungkook can't think of a gamble he'd rather take.

"You really are mine, huh?" Jungkook muses with a small smile. "Ah, I have such a good soulmate. Everyone should understand why I'm being selfish with you this weekend."

"Yours in every way," Yoongi agrees. Something so all-encompassing might frighten him under other circumstances, but here and now with Jungkook, it's exhilarating to know this kind of love. It's as if, in giving himself fully and freely to Jungkook, he becomes still more himself, better and brighter and freer, too.

"Anyway, it's not selfish," he adds. "Not if it's what I want, too." It would be nice, sure, to celebrate with the others, but they had last night, with cake and presents, and he prefers this, casual and special all at once. They've never had an opportunity like this, and it's better, he thinks, than anything else he might have done with his weekend. "I'm sure they get it. And if they don't..." He shrugs. "It's my birthday."

It's probably still a little selfish, Jungkook thinks to himself, but it's the kind of selfish that he thinks the both of them can afford a little more often than they have. Early on in the relationship, Jungkook knows that both of their schedules changed a great deal, making far more time for one another and less for the group. But lately, they've fallen back into more of an equilibrium, each one of them spending time with their other friends — Yoongi probably spends more time with Seokjin and Hoseok than Jungkook does, and Jungkook's smaller age gap with Taehyung and Jimin has always made those connections easy.

So pulling Yoongi back now feels... well, self-serving.

But Jungkook's okay with it.

"And there's no way you'd rather spend it than with me, huh?" Jungkook asks, smile wide and just a touch smug. "Far away from home, where we can just... be. Feels almost like it's my birthday."

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