Yoongi takes a deep, shaky breath, fingers twisting in the shirt at Jungkook's waist, his head reeling. It's impossible not to feel like a complete idiot, taking a wonderful day and ruining it like this, making a fuss over nothing. Jungkook brought it up because he asked him, because he wanted to know, and it's not like he wishes he hadn't. It's important to know these things. He just can't help feeling he's done exactly what Jungkook said he doesn't like.
He wants to believe it. Sometimes, he can. Some days, he knows how smart he is and how hard he works, how hard he tries, and he knows that he deserves better than he's been given. Other days, everything clouds over and he doesn't know how to see through the fog. It leaves him feeling hurt and vulnerable, and it would be so easy just to shut down right now and push it all aside. If it were anyone else, he would probably try. But it's not like Jungkook wouldn't just see through it, and Yoongi doesn't want to push him away, not for anything, not even his wounded pride.
His heart must be flying under Jungkook's touch, fluttering hummingbird quick, as his arms slip more tightly around Jungkook's waist, his head bowed. He could argue, explain all the ways he's not a good person, but the fact remains, he is trying. That has to be worth something. And when Jungkook sounds like this, plaintive and sweet and sure all at once, it's hard not to believe him, if only for a moment. "Not as good as yours," he says softly, but it's a compliment to Jungkook, not an insult to himself. He shakes his head. "I love you so much."
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He wants to believe it. Sometimes, he can. Some days, he knows how smart he is and how hard he works, how hard he tries, and he knows that he deserves better than he's been given. Other days, everything clouds over and he doesn't know how to see through the fog. It leaves him feeling hurt and vulnerable, and it would be so easy just to shut down right now and push it all aside. If it were anyone else, he would probably try. But it's not like Jungkook wouldn't just see through it, and Yoongi doesn't want to push him away, not for anything, not even his wounded pride.
His heart must be flying under Jungkook's touch, fluttering hummingbird quick, as his arms slip more tightly around Jungkook's waist, his head bowed. He could argue, explain all the ways he's not a good person, but the fact remains, he is trying. That has to be worth something. And when Jungkook sounds like this, plaintive and sweet and sure all at once, it's hard not to believe him, if only for a moment. "Not as good as yours," he says softly, but it's a compliment to Jungkook, not an insult to himself. He shakes his head. "I love you so much."