He can't breathe. His breath keeps catching on tears and Yoongi hates it. He has to close his eyes and will himself to slow down, inhale deeper, exhale slower. He hasn't been abandoned. He isn't alone. Whatever happened, wherever he is, Jungkook still loves him. It's not like Yoongi didn't know that, couldn't have doubted that love, not anymore, but it's been hard to hold onto. As much as this has been torture, it's felt deserved, too, like the universe punishing him for his choices. And now he knows that, on some level, it was a test he failed. Not strong enough to keep hoping. Not strong enough to keep looking. All he did was crumple to dust, back to that boy who barely hangs on from one day to the next.

where are you
what happened??
please come home
i need you

He curls up into himself, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, clutching the phone like a lifeline. He doesn't have it in himself to be calm about this, too desperate for answers, too desperate to have Jungkook back in his arms. It isn't right. Whatever's keeping them apart isn't right. Nothing was supposed to get between them ever again. Some part of him had started to let himself believe that, too, to have hope they would never be separated again, that they would never allow that. He'd even let himself start to think he would last beyond September. Now, fragile as he feels, he tells himself he will, out of spite for whatever's kept them apart, out of need to have Jungkook a little longer. Out of love, because he can't do that to Jungkook again, when two weeks without each other feels like dying by inches anyway.