𝕒𝕕𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕠

[lovestrippedbare]

These are the moments when no one questions where Jungkook will be for the day — when he wakes up early in the morning, before the sunlight shines fully in the sky, and brings the large picnic basket out of the storage closet. On these mornings, he walks through his house with confidence, no fear of receiving negative looks or words from his stepfather or stepbrother. Few words are usually exchanged at all, save for soft murmurs and the brush of warm hands against his arms, Jungkook's mother often reminding him to bring items she's saved off to the side, offering him extra cash for the long bus ride.

A layer of pears and mandarins rests at the bottom of the basket, carefully wrapped in cloth to prevent bruising. On top, a paper plate with freshly heated mandu, a few holes poked in the plastic wrap to stop them from getting too soggy.

Most of the time, Jungkook brings seasonal flowers, whatever blooms brightest but carries a reasonable price tag — little thoughtful gestures that he can't be sure his father would have specifically appreciated, but that feel better than not making the effort at all. Today, the basket is full to nearly bursting instead with pink lilies, a few of the longer stems peeking out from under the cover.

He heads out of the house alone, smiling at the way the gray of the sky gives way to a soft blue. A few quick taps on his phone later, he's both sent a message to Yoongi and pulled up a playlist for the initial walk, cascading arpeggios setting the tone for the day as Jungkook shuffles quickly to the meeting point.

"You'll like him, right, dad?" he murmurs under his breath, shivering when a gust blows through the street.

Comments

[likedriedflowerpetals]

Yoongi closes his eyes, letting himself simply feel the soft press of lips to his skin, and the way his heart, already so full, seems to spill over at that, as if his heart is a blossoming flower, opening outwards to let in more light. He's spent so much of his time since losing his mother feeling hopeless and bereft. Happiness, real and true and thorough, is so fleeting, so rare. To be able to give it to anyone would be a precious gift. Bringing it to Jungkook is everything.

"I haven't," he says, faltering, though he thinks the confession is probably an obvious one. "I haven't been this happy since she died. Sometimes it feels like I don't know how to be. And then there's you..." He leans his head forward, temples pressed together as he takes a deep breath. It isn't just about being loved, though, fuck, he hasn't felt this loved since his mother passed either. Maybe never. It's the way loving Jungkook and being loved in return makes him feel like maybe he does deserve to be happy. Like things will be okay. "If I play even a small role in making you happy," he murmurs, "then I know I'm doing something right."

[lovestrippedbare]

Perhaps the words should scare Jungkook, if he thinks about them too much. If he lets himself notice the fact that Yoongi's words suggest that so much of his happiness centers around making sure that Jungkook is happy. There's a part of Jungkook's heart that aches at the thought that Yoongi's happiness was so hard to obtain on his own, that none of the dark gazes and distant looks were imagined — that there's a part of Yoongi that has been suffering for years, and perhaps continues to suffer still. What Jungkook wants, potentially even more than what they have together, is for that happiness to become inherent in Yoongi's being once more.

Yet Jungkook also knows that so much of what Yoongi shares can be applied to himself. That there are days when Jungkook can't seem to find the bright side to anything until he sees the smile on Yoongi's face, the happiness with which Yoongi greets him, and suddenly everything else is thrown to the background.

Perhaps neither of them are as healed as they should aim to be in time, but for now, having each other is more than enough.

"You're the person who makes me the happiest, Min-ah. Even before us, just sitting by your side, playing piano together... it made me so happy. Being with you makes me feel complete," Jungkook says softly, nudging his nose gently against the baby fine hair by Yoongi's temple.

[likedriedflowerpetals]

If he'd been asked a couple months ago, Yoongi knows, he probably would have scoffed at such a notion -- both at the idea that he could give Jungkook anything and at anyone needing someone else to complete them. Now he sees the truth of it. Whatever he's thought of himself in the past, he is good for Jungkook, just as Jungkook is for him. And while there are still parts of him that are bruised and broken, they don't feel quite so empty anymore.

"Good," he murmurs. From the beginning, he thinks, there's been something special about Jungkook. Maybe at first it was friendship alone, but it was still there, a connection he's cherished for so long he hardly remembers how it began. "I want that for you. For both of us." It's what their parents would want, too. He's sure of that. Whatever form that completion takes, they deserve to feel whole, all the tiny fractures fading into nothing.

[lovestrippedbare]

There's little that Jungkook imagines he could say to top the sentiment, so he leans in instead, a little bolder than before as he seeks out a kiss against Yoongi's lips. He tilts his head for better access, one hand tracing down Yoongi's cheek, skirting around the back of his neck, while the other gently wraps around his waist. Maybe this is a little different than how a meeting would be in front of living parents; maybe this kind of kiss would be reserved for the altar, two of them exchanging vows. But, as far as Jungkook's concerned, he's as promised to Yoongi now as he will be then.

And if anyone would understand, it's the parents who have already crossed beyond life. The parents who already have that all-knowing perspective.

They won't judge, Jungkook thinks. They must be happy.

He's willing to believe that.

"I love you," he murmurs as he pulls away, nose bumping against nose as they share breath. "Should we head back?"

[likedriedflowerpetals]

Even on the better days, when he comes just to tell his mom what he's been up to, Yoongi is hard-pressed to find any kind of peace here. With Jungkook holding onto him, though, this place doesn't seem quite so dire. The injustices weigh just a little less. Maybe, he thinks, that's all they can really ask for when it comes to their parents — just a little more peace, a little less pain.

"I love you," he echoes, and nods. "Yeah, I think we should."

For today, at least, he thinks he's told his mother the only important things that have changed since his last visit. In the end, this was much less nerve-racking than he imagines it will be someday when Jungkook's mother finds out. Sweet as she may be, she's alive, and that comes with a certain extra brand of terror, it turns out. Right now, though, Yoongi pushes thoughts of that aside. The future will come when it comes. However much they like to daydream about it, he's happy to be right where and when he is.