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lovestrippedbare) wrote2019-03-09 03:19 pm
lovestrippedbare) wrote2019-03-09 03:19 pm
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There are times, Jungkook thinks, when unexpected changes in plan work out for the best. Giving up on the idea of Busan during winter break wasn't the easiest choice at the time — Jungkook had expected it to be the highlight of their winter, and giving into the pressure of Yeongwook's blackmailing hurt on multiple levels. But distance seemed safest. Planning, biding their time, having Jungkook carefully siphon a portion of his allowance over to Yoongi for safekeeping, every passing day made the trip feel more viable again, until the two of them suddenly realized that Yoongi's birthday would be an easy occasion to leave for, and that was that.
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera — of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera — of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
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"Gonna make you feel so good," Jungkook promises, his voice suddenly soft and tender, following Yoongi's example. Yoongi's always protected Jungkook in moments such as these, shielded Jungkook, all the vulnerable parts of him carefully tucked under Yoongi's shadow. Jungkook will simply have to offer the same in turn, when the time comes. A safe haven from all the noise that surrounds them. "Fill you up." He slides his finger along the rim, feather-light, then traces up to the base of Yoongi's spine. "So deep that we'll forget what's you and what's me. We'll feel everything together."
Jungkook smiles, nips at the soft curve of Yoongi's lip. Even if sex didn't feel half as good as it did, Jungkook thinks he'd want that intimacy regardless, the romance in feeling their bodies shift together, working to move in tandem. A duet all their own. "And until then, you'll just have to fuck me enough that I remember to study whenever I'm sitting in class." He snickers, wiggling his butt for emphasis.
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He gnashes his teeth at Jungkook's shoulder, barely grazing, a mock punishment, and swats at his wiggling ass. "That I can do," he says, a low growl of a promise. As long as Jungkook wants to be fucked, Yoongi can't imagine denying him. Even on days when he's worn out from school, there's pleasure in curling up together, lazily touching until they're both trembling and keening. He always finds a way to make Jungkook feel good, always will. Hand smoothing up Jungkook's back, he lifts his head again, drawing Jungkook's lower lip between his teeth. "Gonna make me wanna again right now," he admits with a small laugh, as if that isn't slowly making itself evident. He can't help it. Jungkook touching him like that, teasing him like that, wound him up a little, and he wants to do something with it. It's ridiculous when they just fucked, and they should really shower and head out to find food, but he's young and in love and really fucking horny about it. Besides, Jungkook's already all stretched out. It wouldn't take much to prep him again, to slip inside him and just be there, held safe inside of him...
But he's probably still sensitive from earlier, too, and Yoongi knows he shouldn't push it. The last thing he wants is to make Jungkook uncomfortable just for the sake of pleasing him. As tempted as he is, as easy as it would be to roll them both over now and pin Jungkook down, he'll follow Jungkook's lead. Nuzzling against Jungkook's cheek, his hand strokes lower again, playing the dip of his spine like keys, lips seeking out Jungkook's. "Don't know how that's gonna help you focus on class, though."
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It's the little things that he can laugh at, time and time again.
Still, maybe it's good that the tension was so easily broken this time. As much as Jungkook likes to think that he has the endurance to go for half a dozen orgasms if put to the task, he's pretty sure their time in Busan is better spent on more than just a sex marathon in the hotel room. (If they really felt a need for that back home, they could always book a love hotel for the evening there too, covering for themselves with some type of vague excuse.)
Jungkook leans up, pressing a soft kiss to the small birthmark on Yoongi's cheek. "I don't think it'd be that hard to see how it'd help me focus in class. Hard seat, sore ass. What's that they say in English? No pain, no gain." Jungkook declares, brushing a hand up until his fingertips meet baby fine hairs by Yoongi's temple.
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"Mm-hmm," he hums, and huffs out a soft laugh. "You sure it wouldn't just remind you of sex?" Though he can't deny that, since they started dating, Jungkook has done somewhat better in his studies. Whether that's the sex or just because Yoongi spends more time studying with him, he doesn't know, but he doesn't think it really matters. As long as Jungkook is working at it, that's all he needs. He remembers a time when Jungkook said he thought about following Yoongi to school. And it's not that Yoongi expects that β he wants Jungkook to have options of his own β but he'd be lying if he said he didn't still think about that, didn't dream of them sharing some little apartment just off campus together. He's not about to rein in his possibilities to make it happen, when he needs a good education if he's going to make anything of himself, but he wants Jungkook to be able to follow.
Hand trailing down Jungkook's side, he slaps his ass playfully, tipping his head forward to nuzzle against Jungkook's cheek. "Or is it that I can't think of anything else right now? We should get cleaned up." Reluctant though he is to pull away, they're both a mess, and if he lingers too much longer here, he's not going to be able to shake the temptation to go another round. Granted, it's not like a shower is going to put them much further apart, but at least they'd be able to get dressed and find dinner.
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"If I'm going to be daydreaming about you constantly, it might as well be about things that I won't get without making the grades," he shrugs, yelping when Yoongi's palm smacks against his ass. Caught between indignation and interest, Jungkook's lower lip juts out in a pout, and he lingers for a few seconds before wriggling towards the edge of the mattress. Loathe though he is to leave the bed, Jungkook knows he'll regret it if he lets himself fall asleep now; he's pickier about the state of his linens than he likes to admit.
Once his feet meet the ground, it takes only a couple of steps for Jungkook to swing around to the bathroom. Considering the price of the hotel, it looks surprisingly clean and roomy, enough space to readily fit the two of them. Stepping inside, Jungkook traces his finger along the edge of the mirror, wondering if it'll fog up too quickly to get a good view of the pair of them together.
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Once his laughter subsides, though, he closes the small gap between them, arms slipping around Jungkook's waist as he steps behind him and ducks his head to press a kiss to Jungkook's shoulder. He glances up, smiles at their reflection, his eyes finding Jungkook's. "I daydream about you constantly, too," he says softly. "And I like that I'm all over your notebooks. That you think about me. It's... romantic." He huffs out a small laugh, almost shy. It's sweet. Jungkook is sweet. Yoongi wouldn't say he's been entirely deprived of that, exactly; as rowdy a bunch as they might be, they care intensely about each other, and all six of his friends have their ways of showing how much that's true, each surprisingly sweet in his way. Still, to have it aimed at him so specifically, so intently, is... flattering. Satisfying. Comforting. Nose brushing against Jungkook's neck, he glances back to the mirror, smile widening a little. They look fucking good together, he thinks. He looks good. Happy. He nips at Jungkook's ear, hugging him a little tighter. "So make the fucking grades."
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Jungkook reaches down for Yoongi's hand, pulling it to his lips as though to prove his point, kissing down the line of each vein as he turns the both of them around, nudging Yoongi back towards the shower. "Wish I was good enough to really capture your likeness on paper. I swear, when I close my eyes, it's — you're perfect. And then I try to make the lines work on paper, and it's..." Jungkook huffs a breath, blowing his bangs out of the way. "Even photos don't do you justice. Not even the selfies you take from bed."
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"Should I stop sending those then?" he teases, stepping into the shower. He eyes the showerhead warily for a moment, then reaches up to try and twist it away from them before he turns the water on. If it comes out too cold or too hot, he doesn't want to get hit by the stream head-on. Once it's running, he turns his head to kiss Jungkook's cheek. "Still romantic. Just because it's not the way people usually do things... You loved me. I wish I'd known you were memorizing my hands while I was banging out shitty improvisations to express how it was eating me up inside. Might've actually said something." He glances away, still shy even now, as he holds his hand out under the water, testing the temperature, adjusting the faucet to try and warm it up. It all feels so stupid now. Jungkook didn't have much of a choice, falling first, but if Yoongi had known, if he'd just reached out the moment he realized how he felt instead of trying to convince himself it wasn't true or it was somehow corrupting their friendship, if he'd had any idea how much their friendship would only flourish and grow in the light of love... He huffs, rolling his eyes, lip quirking in a lopsided smile. "Maybe not, but I might've."
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The time for joking quickly passes as Yoongi presses a kiss to Jungkook's cheek, as his words take a softer tone, low and quiet in his throat. "Your improvisations were never shitty," he reprimands quietly, tugging up the warm that Yoongi has extended under the water, cold drops slipping off from his fingertips. "Actually, the more you played, the more I fell in love. So maybe it was okay that it took so long. Your music..." Jungkook huffs a laugh, glancing down at their feet, rosy now after sitting underneath the chilly spray. "It's almost like looking in a mirror. I know that on the surface, we're so different — you're cool and I'm clumsy — but when you're playing at the piano, it's like, everything that I feel, the things I don't know how to put into words, they're there. They're there in your music. I told you that I fell in love when I first heard you play the piano, right? I really mean that."
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Jungkook thinks he's not as romantic. Jungkook thinks he's no good with words. He doesn't have to be, Yoongi thinks. All he has to do is be honest. Eloquence doesn't mean anything, not the way this does, his heart almost painfully full. He knows so well how powerful music is, the way it can transform everything, say everything, but to know his music can do that, to know he could do that for Jungkook...
He wishes he had a piano now, because he knows he doesn't have the words. Sometimes he wonders how he got so fucking lucky. Times like this, he knows it's because there's no one in the world who makes him make sense the way they do together.
"I guess I better keep playing then," he murmurs, swallowing hard. He can't imagine not playing anyway, not when there have been times he felt like the music was the only thing keeping him alive, but if it's one more thing he can do to make sure Jungkook knows he's never really alone, he'll keep going forever. And to think that Jungkook fell in love so early, loved him so long, through all of his moods, the fights and the flaws, the recklessness and restlessness β that all the time he felt so lost, someone so special was loving him so much β it's almost more than he knows how to bear. He didn't realize it, but it strikes him now; all that time, hurting and lonely, he was never really alone either.
Twisting around to better face Jungkook, he lifts a hand to cradle his cheek, so tender, ignoring the spray of water against his calves as it slowly grows warmer. He falters, mouth open to speak before he knows what to say, and all that comes out is a helpless, almost distressed exhale. "I love you."
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But more often, Jungkook thinks the problem lies in Yoongi's struggle to see his own music as worthy. It's easy to think it lesser than the great compositions of centuries past — that it pales in comparison to the savants, the Mozarts and the Chopins of the world.
It's true that Jungkook feels every swell of emotion from Chopin's nocturnes and Beethoven's sonatas, but he likens that to being touched by poetry. His own thoughts aren't nearly so well-formed. In that respect, the melodies that Yoongi draws from the keys when he thinks no one's listening, those are the most honest, the most raw. Jungkook plays those songs over and over in his head, lines and measures repeated as he leans in, both hands settling on Yoongi's hips as he catches that exhale, breathing Yoongi in.
"I love you," Jungkook murmurs, nudging Yoongi's nose with his own, squeezing Yoongi's sides underneath his palms, skin dragging against skin. "You make me love being alive. Min Yoongi. Love of my life."
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He's nothing special, not really. A fairly good musician, skilled for his age and inexperience, and a decent student, maybe, but someone who gets into too many fights and keeps to himself too much, who doesn't know how to express the thousand things he feels every day β ordinary, at his best. To know that about himself, to be so sure of it, and then to be faced with this evidence of having done something extraordinary is almost too much for him to bear.
"Your only love," he points out, cheeks flushing. It doesn't actually soften the sentiment any; if anything, there's a power in knowing he's the first and the last person Jungkook will ever fall in love with. Thumb stroking over Jungkook's cheek, he shakes his head minutely. "I'm glad I'm here. I β you make me so happy. I don't know what to do, you make me so happy." Has he ever been so happy? Has he ever felt so loved, so cherished? It's almost too much happiness. It scares him a little suddenly, to be flying so high β too close to the sun, maybe. He'd never survive losing this. He slips his free hand into Jungkook's hair, pulling him into a kiss, craving even more physical reassurance. They're here. They aren't going anywhere.
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It doesn't take long before Jungkook's expression softens. No, Yoongi's right. Yoongi's the only love Jungkook's had who counts; whatever he thought might have been love before pales in comparison to what they share now. Even compared to December, Jungkook finds himself having fallen so much deeper, smiling as he lets his gaze rake over all the little moles and marks that Jungkook's now memorized across Yoongi's skin.
"What you should do is pretty simple," Jungkook whispers, nudging Yoongi's nose with his own, then coaxing them back closer to the quickly warming spray of water, having forgotten that they're far away from home, in a place where there's the luxury of time. "Keep loving me. You don't have to do anything else. Just being loved by you is everything." He leans in, nipping at Yoongi's lips, a sharp intake of breath when he feels the spray of mist hit his shoulders.
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He's used to being the one in control, wanting to be, but sometimes Jungkook takes the lead, like now, nudging Yoongi gently back under the water. It's like he sees Yoongi in a way no one else ever has, like he can read in Yoongi's face that he needs that right now. Just for a moment, just long enough to regain his balance. The water slides over him and he sighs, eyes closing as he tips his head up into the kiss. Between all the walking around they've done today and the sex, he's more tired than he cares to admit, and hot water feels good against sore muscles. It's hard sometimes for him to acknowledge that this is okay, that what they have isn't going anywhere. Happiness has felt so fleeting and fragile these last few years. Sometimes he has to remind himself that won't happen here. This is for life.
"I couldn't stop even if I wanted to," he says softly. "And I'd never want to." He just can't imagine a future without Jungkook now, let alone one where he ever stops loving him. That Jungkook feels the same is both obvious and incredible. Yoongi rubs at Jungkook's shoulders, palms sliding against slick skin, and shakes his head. Sometimes it just feels too good to be real, and yet, he thinks, nothing else in his life is as real as this. "You're everything."
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Maybe it's okay to feel less than whole sometimes, Jungkook thinks, if it also means knowing that he belongs here. Belongs with this person.
"Nuh-uh. Can't be everything if it's your love that completes me," Jungkook muses instead, edging under the weight of the spray, sighing contentedly as the water sluices down his body. His hands start to roam over the expanse of Yoongi's skin, less urgency in the touch than before, replaced now with the gentleness of wanting to soothe any aches, any tightness. They've come a long way from Seoul, after all. Even the happiest of days can be long and hard on the body.
He nudges Yoongi's shoulders, encouraging the other boy to turn around as Jungkook leans in, pressing kisses to the base of Yoongi's neck.
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He drops his head forward, enjoying the soft brush of Jungkook's lips against his neck, reaching blindly to find one of Jungkook's hands to cover with his own. "You complete me, too," he murmurs. He's spent too many days feeling empty and lost. It comes and goes, and he knows he's better for having his friends around, even if he still tries to withdraw sometimes. But having Jungkook in his life, loving him like this, he knows he's been happier, that those days have been fewer. He feels steadier, more balanced. And try as he might to discredit himself at times, he can't deny that Jungkook has been happier, too. "We belong together."
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He chuckles to himself. "I feel like I'm going to be dreaming about this weekend for months," Jungkook muses. "Blowjobs in public, a shower that actually fits both of us without one of us smacking the other. With enough hot water that I can watch your skin get all rosy. S'nice." He reaches up with his hands, weaving fingertips through Yoongi's hair and massaging his scalp. "Gotta study hard so that we can afford more of these getaways."
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Someday they won't need to go away for the weekend to have this. Even then, though, Yoongi thinks they will. He likes it too much. Even when they have their own place, it'll be nice to be able to take vacations β not just to Busan, but farther, Europe, like they've talked about. However hard he has to work to make that happen, he will.
Closing his eyes, he takes in a slow, deep breath. It comes out again in a soft hum as he presses back into Jungkook. "Not that we have to leave Seoul for me to blow you in public," he says, lazily wry. Now that they've gotten away with it once, he thinks he might find himself bolder in the future, as long as they aren't too close to home. "But yeah, this is... I really like this. And that feels nice."
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Maybe. Then again, Jungkook could see Taehyung encouraging it.
"You know what I mean though," he murmurs a moment later, letting one hand drop down to Yoongi's hip, smoothing along the curve before sweeping forward to trace idle lines over Yoongi's abdomen. Of the pair of them, Yoongi's body has always been a little bit softer, and Jungkook likes it that way, pressing kisses and raspberries against Yoongi's belly whenever he gets the chance. "More the fact that we're so far away from everything that it feels like we can do whatever we want. Live the lives we really want. Kiss each other whenever we want."
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For now, though, he just lets himself luxuriate in the moment in a way he rarely can. Jungkook touches him so tenderly, his words working sweetly through Yoongi's mind. "I always want to kiss you," he murmurs. He wants this, quiet moments of gentle intimacy β nowhere else to be, no one else to worry about, just Jungkook's hands so soft on his body, his voice warm against Yoongi's ear. Someday, he promises himself. Someday they'll have a life where they can just be. He moves his arms behind him, hands fumbling for Jungkook's hips, holding him anchored against Yoongi. "At home, I β I always want it. Just to be with you."
Sometimes he gets so angry when they're apart β not because of the distance, but because it's hard to see other couples together without Jungkook to distract him. Left to his own devices, it's hard not to be bitter that they can't be like that, like straight couples, who can be so much more public about their affection. He's happy and he's proud of his boyfriend. And he's private; it's not like he thinks it's anyone else's business. He just wishes he could share it more openly if he felt like it. It's that he's been denied even the choice that pisses him off. Here, though, it doesn't seem as important to be so painstakingly careful. It feels safe here, where nothing might follow them home.
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But these days, Jungkook's come to realize that the desire for that closeness is reciprocal. Yoongi's body drapes only lightly against Jungkook's own, and yet the touch still feels charged, long fingers digging gently into his hip, bringing him close. So Jungkook doesn't bother trying to withhold his desire, instead reaching out with both hands and curling his arms possessively around Yoongi's frame, lips dropping to his shoulder, pressing kiss after kiss after kiss. Yoongi always wants to be with Jungkook, and that fact feels so precious; Jungkook isn't sure how he got so lucky.
It makes him want to work hard to better himself. To be someone truly deserving of everything that Yoongi offers him.
"I always wanna be with you, too," Jungkook whispers, not even sure if his voice will carry over the sound of the spray. Maybe it doesn't matter; he'll pretty sure that Yoongi will feel the words far more than he hears them, in the way Jungkook breathes against his skin, in the thud of his heart in his chest. "This is all I need in my life. Being with you. Being yours."
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He's so safe, so loved. He's never been this safe in his whole life.
"'m yours," he murmurs, shifting in Jungkook's arms. It's awkward, his fingers tracing irregularly over Jungkook's hips as he turns his head enough to press his lips to Jungkook's cheeks, and he doesn't care. He lifts a hand to the back of Jungkook's head instead, trying to urge him into a real kiss. He's pretty sure there's still soap in his hair and he must look incredibly stupid and he really should be helping Jungkook get cleaned up, too, they should both be hurrying and figuring out dinner, but he doesn't care. Okay, he cares about food, he is a little hungry, but not enough for it to matter right now. He just wants to kiss his boyfriend, a little whine working its way out of his throat before he finally finds Jungkook's lips with his own. "Can we just live here?" He's joking, mostly, a little wistful, a little embarrassed by his own desperation. Still, it's hard not to wish for it.
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It's hard to ignore the ache in his chest as Jungkook leans in, easily following the lead of Yoongi's kiss, turning the other fully around so that they're facing one another again. Yoongi's hair is still slick with shampoo, and Jungkook threads his fingers through the strands, encouraging water to wash the suds away, laughing when the soap somehow makes its way past their lips, acrid and overly floral on the tongue. He doesn't let it stop him, deepening the kiss, as though he might be able to chase after that whine he loves so well. Sometimes, Jungkook swears that he can feel Yoongi trembling in his arms, and it's nice, in a way. Reminds him of how loved he is.
More than he ever expected to be.
"Wish we could," Jungkook sighs. "Maybe we could ask if they'd be willing to hire us? Work in exchange for, I dunno, getting to stay in one of the rooms every night. There's no way that they ever hit full occupancy, right?" It's a ridiculous idea, Jungkook knows, and it'd be foolish to content themselves with being housekeeping or janitorial staff. It's not the kind of work either of them would enjoy, and for the time being, they've got school to help them aim higher. Still.
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He splutters a little at the soapy water, laughing into Jungkook's mouth as his arms slip over his shoulders. So much of the time, he wants to be the one in charge, the one taking care of Jungkook. It feels good to be able to do that, to prove he can. Right now, though, and sometimes, he just wants this, these little gestures of love, like Jungkook washing his hair. They all try to take care of each other however they can, but things like this, so sweet and intimate β it's been a long time since Yoongi had anyone try to do that for him. Sometimes it's a nice reminder that they can just lean on each other.
"I think we might need a little more than a room," he murmurs, smiling. "Like food, maybe. But I bet we could work something out. We'd make it work." He shakes his head, lifting a hand to wipe uselessly at the water that's splashed in his eyes. "I just... want that. Just me and you." He feels silly, even sheepish, though he can see so clearly that Jungkook wants it, too. They could be so happy, he thinks, if they could just get away from their families and be. He closes the distance between them again, hand returning to rest at the nape of Jungkook's neck as he kisses him.
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It's too bad Jungkook doesn't have access to a computer here, but he files away a thought for when they return to Seoul, wanting to educate himself on more ways to be intimate, wanting to find something that might get Yoongi uniquely excited, after Yoongi's found so many ways to satisfy Jungkook's whims.
His thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of a rumbling stomach, and Jungkook surges forward to press another kiss to Yoongi's lips, lingering and heated. Even with a far less limited supply of hot water, they'll have to stop soon. "But yes. I want that, too. To be boring old hermits together," Jungkook grins, bringing his hands back up to cup Yoongi's jaw, thumbs nudging playfully against the fullness of Yoongi's cheeks.
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