lovestrippedbare | 𝕣𝕦𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕠

Entry tags:

yoongi

𝕣𝕦𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕠

It takes a day before Jungkook works up the courage to ask Heejin for help. They meet up for breakfast, Jungkook wheeling out of his room before his mother can arrive in the morning, doing his best to keep up with Heejin as she rolls her IV drip along. The chair isn't high enough for him to see everything, but Heejin carefully reads out every dish on offer, adding her own commentary about the freshness of the ingredients, the spiciness of the jjigae. Jungkook returns the favor by balancing both of their trays on his lap as they make their way back to the table.

She's polishing off a cup of pudding when Jungkook asks if she has a phone, his words quiet and jumbled.

He's barely finished his sentence when she reaches into her pocket and pulls her phone out, almost shoves it under his nose with a smile.

"Just return it to me when you're done."

Jungkook doesn't pull the phone out from under his pillow until the sun's long since set and his mother's left for the day. A nurse comes around to turn off the light in his room, murmurs soft encouragement for him to sleep soon, leaves before he even has a chance to nod in her direction. He tries to turn onto his side, winces when his muscles protest, and sighs as he sinks back against the pillows, shoulders flat against the mattress.

Heejin's home screen is cluttered with countless apps, but Jungkook pulls up the text messages, worrying at his lower lip as he types in Yoongi's number.

It's June 8th. Over two weeks since Yoongi heard from him last.

Is he still checking his phone?

The sensation of heat trickling down his cheek jolts Jungkook back to attention, pulling a sharp intake of breath between his teeth. He rubs stubbornly at his cheek with the heel of a palm before he wraps both hands around Heejin's phone, tapping a quick message. Hitting send before he has the time to overthink.

yoongi-ah
it's me

i'm sorry, Jungkook types, before he quickly hits backspace.

i love you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Even though it was his prompt, the way that Yoongi's words suddenly turn leaves panic cresting again in Jungkook's chest. He can't go back to being alone. He can't go back to only having his mother around for company, to watching nurses turn a sympathetic eye towards him. Can't go back to putting so much on a girl he's only just met. Jungkook both clings to every last word and somehow forgets them as soon as they meet the shell of his ear. Yoongi loves him, Yoongi's coming soon, they'll get through this but — but right now, it feels like Jungkook can't get through anything at all, and he's not sure he can go back to the limbo where time seems to stretch indefinitely in front of him.

He's sobbing before he realizes it. Stifled, discordant sounds that die only partially in his throat. He doesn't want to be here, alone in the dark, a strange stillness that pulls him right back to the night of the accident. He can't even run. He can barely move his legs, let alone support himself.

"I love you," Jungkook says, his voice pinched and high in the midst of panic. "More than anything." He glances up in alarm when the room is suddenly bathed in light, a nurse stepping inside as Jungkook quickly slides the phone under the covers, no time to hang up in the process.

"Jeon Jungkook-ssi? Is there something wrong? Do you need the dosage of your pain medication raised?" the nurse asks, not unkindly as she peeks at the machine.

"A-ah, maybe," Jungkook mutters, sniffling. "It's hard to sleep."

There are a few beeps, and Jungkook stares vacantly at the machine, preparing himself for the haze he'll sink into. The nurse reassures him that the medication will kick in soon, to press the call button if he has any further trouble, but Jungkook doesn't react much, staring distantly at his sheets and nodding until she leaves.

He stares at the still dimly lit screen of the phone, then glances at the door, careful not to pick it up again until it seems like the hallway is silent again.

Jungkook is crying and it feels like Yoongi's own heart is being pulled from his chest. To hear him sobbing and not be able to hold him in a kind of torture, and suddenly Yoongi's very limbs ache with the desire to get up and run to him, to do anything it takes to be in Jungkook's arms. There's no way he'd get in now, though, the hour too late for visitors, and being so close and so far would only hurt. All he can do is listen helplessly as suddenly the sounds dim and fade, another voice rising that he can't quite make out.

"Gguk?" He tries to keep panic out of his voice. They've all but said their good-byes, and still he's terrified the call might actually end. He can't go back to the way life was hardly half an hour ago, if that. He tells himself he doesn't have to, that he now knows where Jungkook is, that he's alive, and that that's so much more than he had this morning. It doesn't dim the ache that comes with knowing they have to hang up soon. Why didn't he try harder to find him sooner? Why isn't he there now? "Gguk — I love you. I'm so — so sorry I'm not there. Please don't cry. I'm coming, okay?" It's all he can do to fight back tears of his own, throat growing tighter with every word. "It'll be okay. We'll be together and it'll be okay."

When Jungkook hears Yoongi's voice on the phone, he finally snaps back to attention, rushing to hold it up to his ear. He should probably work harder to keep himself quiet, having made enough commotion to draw the attention of a nurse, but even now Jungkook can't help the way that he gasps slightly for air — a reflection, perhaps, of the way he feels like he's on the cusp of drowning, no ground underneath his feet for purchase. Every word Yoongi utters, from Jungkook's nickname to the apology for not being there already, every word sinks itself into Jungkook's chest like an ache.

It's hard to feel like things will be okay again, even now, with Yoongi's voice fresh in Jungkook's memory. But Yoongi asks Jungkook not to cry, and so Jungkook takes another shuddering breath to try and calm himself.

"Mmkay," he mumbles, sniffling and reaching off to the side for the box of tissues on his nightstand. His mother might be alarmed tomorrow to find so many of them used up. Jungkook finds that he doesn't care. "It'll be okay. It'll be... okay."

Jungkook closes his eyes, pulling in another deep breath. "I love you, Min-ah. I love you so much."

It's all Yoongi can do to hide his own tears, eyes closing at the sound of Jungkook's voice again. It's not hard to tell that Jungkook doesn't entirely believe things will be okay, and it leaves Yoongi wavering, torn between his own natural pessimism and the need to keep hope alive. One of them has to believe. If Jungkook can't, it'll have to be him.

"I know," he whispers. "I know you do. Get some sleep, okay?" He draws in a slow, deep breath, wiping his eyes. "Take care of yourself until I can come do it for you." Soon, he tells himself. He'll figure it out quickly and go as soon as he can and dry those tears himself. In the meanwhile, the idea of hanging up terrifies him; it isn't Jungkook's phone, he can't call him on it, and not knowing if he'll get to speak to him again before he gets to the hospital hurts. Not having a way to contact him feels like going back into the dark again, lost and scared and so alone.

He should be stronger. He should be the one to hang up, so Jungkook doesn't have to, but he can't bring himself to do it.

For several seconds, it's all Jungkook can do to remember how to breathe. Yoongi mentions the fact that Jungkook should sleep, but sleep feels so far beyond Jungkook right now, when every part of him is focused on the sound of Yoongi's voice, and his pulse thrums with the anxiety that comes from knowing he won't be able to hear it for much longer. It's not enough to hear Yoongi over the phone. The tinniness gets in the way of how Jungkook remembers Yoongi's voice — low and occasionally rough, but impossibly tender. Affectionate.

Even now, the tone of Yoongi's voice feels laden with fear, and everything's wrong. Everything feels... out of place.

"You can text this number, if you need," Jungkook finally says, his voice just on the cusp of pleading. Maybe he's taking too many liberties, maybe Heejin will grow tired of him, maybe she'll regret having given Jungkook her phone at all if they keep this up. How long has he been on the phone with Yoongi? It can't have been that long. Feels like they've barely started talking. Feels like nothing, compared to the lazy afternoons and evenings they spend together, wrapped in each other's arms. "I don't see Heejin again until breakfast anyway, so..."

There's so much left to say. Yoongi has trouble getting any of it out, when none of it seems more important than making sure Jungkook knows how utterly loved he is. He has no idea still the extent of the damage or how long Jungkook is going to be in the hospital or when it might be safe to visit. Somehow, the idea of asking now scares him. Maybe it means he has space to imagine the worst, but, for a moment, it also means he can remember Jungkook exactly as he was, healthy and whole. Happy.

Somehow, in spite of everything, they were so happy, just for a moment there.

"Okay," he says. "Yeah. And I can reach you through her if I need to, right? But I'll be there soon and then we can talk in person and we can catch each other up on everything."

Well, not everything. There's a lot he can't hide from Jungkook, a lot he'll figure out anyway once he gets his phone back, but Yoongi doesn't need to confirm how bad it was. That doesn't matter now, not as much as Jungkook's health.

"Good night, Gguk," he says softly. "I love you."

"Yeah," Jungkook says with a slow, stilted breath. He rubs at the trails of tears down his cheeks, trying to pull himself back into some semblance of order, even though Yoongi can't see him and there's no one else around who'll pay Jungkook much mind. "Yeah, Heejin's just a few rooms down and... she's been really nice to me, so." Jungkook swallows, momentarily distracted by the thought of Heejin, wondering why she's gone to such lengths to help Jungkook out, parting with her phone for almost the entirety of a day. Does she also want for company?

Jungkook can't remember if he's seen any members of her family, let alone friends.

"She probably won't mind if I use her phone now and again. We try to get meals together, if mom's not around," Jungkook adds, calming slightly at the thought. Even if it takes Yoongi some time to make it to the room, Jungkook no longer has to be fully isolated. There's at least one other face to turn to.

Still, he feels like his heart is caught in his throat when Yoongi says his farewell. Jungkook should follow suit. He needs the sleep, and there might be no better time to try than now, with the memory of Yoongi's voice and his reassurances fresh in Jungkook's mind.

"I love you," he murmurs. "Min-ah. Always."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Jungkook presses the call button, then sinks back against his pillows, staring at the screen of the phone. It takes all of his willpower to keep himself from calling Yoongi right back.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

𝕣𝕦𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕠

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject