lovestrippedbare | 𝕒 𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕦𝕥𝕒

One week later, everything still feels surreal.

When Namjoon first left town, time began to behave differently. Each day creeped by, the grief of one blending into the next. As the autumn days began to burn away at the foliage, yellow darkening to red and finally reaching a brittle brown, so too did the warmth seem to depart from Jungkook's surroundings. Yoongi left, then Seokjin. Jimin vanished. Even Hoseok and Taehyung didn't seem to have much time for Jungkook anymore once they'd graduated, leaving Jungkook alone at school, with each day melding into the next.

Jungkook became accustomed to that version of time — slow, thick, suffocating. Locked in those days, Jungkook was convinced that he'd never escape. He would only ever know solitude. Isolation.

And then they came back. One by one, his friends began to trickle back into his life, jolting the sluggish train back up to speed. When Jungkook awakes, it's with his phone in his hand, text messages still open to convince himself that this is real.

If it weren't for his phone, nothing else would convince him of it. He still slips silently out from the house, sits on the same line to school, sits in the same chair, leaves those same gates.

Swipes past his lock screen.

That's real.

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Time has become a strange, complicated thing for Seokjin. All of it layers together in his memory in a way that, he's sure, makes others think he's become absentminded or distant. It's hard to remember who he's told that he's back in one timeline, but not this one, or the other way round.

Sometimes, he thinks he's forgotten how it feels for things to be linear. It becomes harder to imagine a lifetime after this, where he'll actually get it right and fix things for real and the months will actually tick properly on.

At least Jungkook knows he's back for sure now, in this loop. It makes him smile to see the conversation on his phone, mundane as it is.

His internship is as boring as he expected and it's almost too easy to flip to the messages in his phone. So what is Jungkookie doing today? he texts.

Even though Seokjin had announced his return, it's still a shock when Jungkook sees the new text pop up on his screen. Some people talk about how easy it can be to fall into old habits with friends, no longer how much time has passed, but for Jungkook, the marks that the past couple of years have left are indelible. It'd be one thing if this was a momentary visit, a brief window of time during which to reconnect. That would feel easier.

Instead, the prospect of having someone and losing them again feels frightening.

Jungkook startles, realizing that he's been watching the screen blankly for a few minutes by now. Licking his lower lip and pulling it between his teeth, he starts to swipe his answer.

no real plans. thought about heading to the river, maybe?

The read appears beneath his message but no answer for a few minutes. It's minutes enough for Seokjin to start to reconsider. This Jungkook doesn't know what Seokjin's been through. Maybe every version where they haven't re-met has a Jungkook who's indifferent, who only cares after Seokjin pulls him back. Maybe...what if...The possibilities began to spiral and his stomach churns and it doesn't feel better when he sees the typing bubble.

He doesn't quite breathe a sigh of relief when Jungkook replies but he does realize he was holding his breath the whole time.

Want company? His own reply is nearly immediate, eager after hours of boredom.

Jungkook nods at his phone, even though there's no chance Seokjin will see. Or maybe it's because he knows that Seokjin won't see — that Seokjin won't have a chance to turn right around and change his mind when he sees just how desperate Jungkook is, how needy he feels still. It's been years now that he's been largely isolated from anyone apart from Taehyung, but the thing about missing people is that even the slightest presence sends the heart yearning.

that'd be great, he types first, then backspaces. i'd like that, he settles for instead.

He's probably overthinking this.

wanna meet by the old odeng cart south of the subway station?

It's still open!? Seokjin's typing is over eager but he's too overcome with happy memories of that stall. The seven of them would crowd around, passing over money and eating fresh, hot odeng that burned the roofs of their mouths because they were too hungry to worry about 'slowing down.'

A sad feeling settles in his stomach. He knows that if he goes back there, it won't be the same. It's not going to taste as good or feel as perfect as it does in his memories. And if this loop doesn't work, it'll just be another memory lost in the shuffle.

But, in the moment, there's something appealing. And at this point, Jungkook is still okay.

When?

This time, he relies on instinct, typing out the first thing that comes to mind.

i'll beat you there

It's a touch of his old cheekiness. Jeon Jungkook has never truly felt superior to his hyungs in any singular way, but it's fun nonetheless to poke at them, especially with respect to age. He's well aware that with most of them barely in their early twenties, it's not exactly like they've passed the peak of their physical ability, but Seokjin in particular has always been fun to tease.

Six years is a lifetime apart.

Jungkook does beat Seokjin there, though it's probably because Seokjin is... who knows where, at this point. Leaning against a nearby streetlight, Jungkook's gaze is unfocused as cars drive by, his hand gripped tight around the strap of his backpack.

The reply is so immediate and so cheeky that Seokjin feels compelled to type out his only reaction: Yah! It conveys, he thinks, everything that he feels in the moment. Jungkook is almost certainly closer and doesn't have to look dignified as he exits the building, followed by his father's staff's watchful eyes. They will almost certainly report any embarrassing behavior directly to them.

So he walks, keeping a sedate pace until he gets to the nearly empty parking garage. Then, Seokjin sprints to his car, loosening his tie and throwing it off the second he's in the driver's seat.

By the time he finds parking, Jungkook has probably beat him there and had his first round of food. But there he is.

"Jungkook-ah!" he calls. It doesn't matter that this isn't the first time they've re-met. Every time feels hopeful.

The immediacy of Seokjin's presence is like a salve, soothing over the aches of the past few years. Jungkook pushes off from where he had been leaning against the streetlight, a small, tentative smile spreading across his features. Instinctively, he slides a hand into his pocket, checking for the few bills that are still there, just enough to treat Seokjin to a couple rounds of odeng.

Of course Seokjin isn't wanting for money, but it's the gesture that counts.

"Hyung," Jungkook grins, hovering awkwardly by the raised edge of the sidewalk, hands clutching at the ends of his sleeves. He'd much rather be hugging Seokjin, but his limbs remain stiff. "Ah, to be this late... you've really aged, haven't you?"

"Yah!" he says again, out loud this time. "I'm still young enough to punish you for saying that!" He won't, of course. Even if Seokjin was the kind of person to do that, he wouldn't now, not after all the actual, terrible things he's seen befall his friends.

Jungkook holds himself so formally and Seokjin's heart hurts a little. There's got to be some way to fix this, for real, to truly and properly fit everything together so that everyone is happy this time.

"Jungkook-ah," he says, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "It's good to see you. Come on. Let's get you filled up with fish cakes!"

Jungkook can't remember a single time when Seokjin's ever punished him for anything. The most that he can remember is Seokjin running at the mouth a little if any of the group was being particularly cheeky, but for the most part, Jungkook knows that part of the reason why they all took so well to Seokjin in spite of the gap in age was because he was nurturing. He accepted them, flaws and all.

(Still, a voice in the back of his head reminds, he left. At some point, the weight was too much. They were too much.)

Ducking his head in response to the arm slung over his shoulder, Jungkook laughs. "I'll treat you this time, hyung."

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