jeon jΟ
ngΔΈooΔΈ (
lovestrippedbare) wrote2019-03-09 03:19 pm
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There are times, Jungkook thinks, when unexpected changes in plan work out for the best. Giving up on the idea of Busan during winter break wasn't the easiest choice at the time Jungkook had expected it to be the highlight of their winter, and giving into the pressure of Yeongwook's blackmailing hurt on multiple levels. But distance seemed safest. Planning, biding their time, having Jungkook carefully siphon a portion of his allowance over to Yoongi for safekeeping, every passing day made the trip feel more viable again, until the two of them suddenly realized that Yoongi's birthday would be an easy occasion to leave for, and that was that.
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
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But Jungkook finds that he likes the real thing all the more for it perfect in all of its imperfection.
When Yoongi mentions the possibility of sparking other ideas, Jungkook tilts his head thoughtfully, watching Yoongi even as his hand continues to smooth over Yoongi's chest, seeking out the steady pulse. "Are there... kinks that you haven't told me about? Or things that you're now thinking of trying?" Jungkook asks, eyes wide and curious. "Like. Eating me out, for one."
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He takes a moment to think, breathing slow and deep, feeling the way Jungkook's hand rises and falls with his chest. Moving together, always together. "I don't know," he says, which doesn't actually mean he doesn't know so much as it does that he's gathering his thoughts. "I like pretty much everything we've done. Didn't think I'd be that into tying you up, but..." It had intrigued him immediately, he can't deny that, but it's not like he'd thought much about it before. Now, what Jungkook said earlier about trying other kinds of knots and such proves exciting. "I don't know that I'm into anything all that kinky other than that. I've thought about fucking you from behind, but I think I might miss looking at you too much." Which, he thinks, is somehow one of the sappiest things he's ever said.
Thoughtful, he brushes his fingers through Jungkook's hair where it threatens to fall into his eyes. "Still want you to fuck me some time. And I liked today. Being in public. I mean, it was kind of terrifying, but in a good way."
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"And fucking from behind sounds totally interesting," Jungkook adds, beaming as he smiles half at Yoongi, half at the ceiling, as though it might spill out into a sky of endless possibilities. "If you end up missing me too much, we can always stop halfway and flip me over. But it could be, well the angle will be different, and that's definitely interesting, and sometimes when you can't see it kinda forces you to focus on everything else, right?"
Idly, Jungkook reaches his hand down, kneading at Yoongi's ass, still warmer to the touch from sex. "And I will definitely fuck you some time. And suck you off in public again. Because yeah, it was scary, but god, it was so hot knowing what we were getting away with. Seeing you try so hard to stay silent, fuck."
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Even so, he ducks his head at Jungkook's words, viscerally reminded of earlier, how he'd struggled to keep quiet so no one would catch them. He's usually careful, knowing the last thing he needs is to get caught by his dad, but this was something else entirely, the risk even higher, the thrill even greater. "God, you too," he says, barely an exhale. "That was... really hot. And, yeah, let's try that sometime, from behind. Worst that happens is we don't like it as much." He strokes his hand slowly up and down Jungkook's side as he talks, watching him. There's something weirdly sweet about Jungkook when he's like this. He's just so excited and curious, and it helps coax Yoongi to meet him halfway there. He shrugs. "I don't know. I feel like I'm still figuring things out, but I like trying things with you."
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Perhaps his claims are getting more outlandish by the second, aided by that constant rush of serotonin, but if there's a time to be foolishly in love, this weekend seems to be it. Jungkook takes a moment to wriggle, settling deeper against the sheets and barely suppressing the desire to wrinkle his nose over the clamminess of their skin. Instead, he reaches up to trace Yoongi's features with his fingertips, lingering by the curve of his lashes, the corner of his smile.
"I don't think I've ever been happier than I am today," Jungkook murmurs.
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It feels right now like he has everything he could ever want. Hand skimming back down to the small of Jungkook's back, he leans closer, presses their foreheads gently together. "Me either," he says, soft. "I love you so much." There's nothing here but them β no school pressure, no parents to ignore or hurt them, nothing but the way their bodies feel tangled together like this, the gentleness of Jungkook's touch and voice. There's just something about being together like this that seems to clear away the shadows in his head, leaving him calm and content in a way he can't remember being before they started dating.
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But the real thing is so much more than smiles. Jungkook feels it in his every breath, in the flush that spreads through his cheeks, the tingle of excitement that sparks across his skin. Being with Yoongi is both electrifying and calming at once, the excitement of knowing that he's finally whole now that he's found his better half.
His mother would laugh at him for thinking so, but Jungkook can't help but sense in his gut that Yoongi is the one he'll be loving for the rest of his life. They fit too well together for that not to be the case.
"Gonna marry you someday," Jungkook murmurs, pleased with the thought as he closes his eyes and enjoys the weight of Yoongi's forehead against his own. "Just you wait."
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Their home will never be silent, he thinks. Even when it's quiet, it will always be music.
"What if I don't want to wait?" he asks softly. He's pretty sure, at times like this, the only things stopping them from just eloping are that their marriage isn't legal yet and that their friends would kill them. "Just wanna be with you."
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"You're already gonna be with me," Jungkook points out, finally giving in to temptation and sliding Yoongi's ring off of his pinky finger, then nudging it halfway up his ring finger. It's not perfect, but the image still takes a bit of his breath away. "The other hyungs already got mad that I stole you away for your birthday, though. If we got hitched, they'd disown us or something."
He glances up at Yoongi, a crooked grin on his lips. "In my heart, I'm already yours anyway. Doesn't matter whether or not it's official with the government."
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So he leans close and kisses him, hand lifting to Jungkook's cheek, slow and tender and deep. "In my heart," he echoes, agreeing. How any of it will fall into place as they get older, he doesn't know. He doesn't think he expects the government to catch up with them any time soon, and their parents are something altogether more difficult to get around, but all of that matters less when Jungkook says things like that. In their hearts, they're as good as married, and not much else matters. "But we're still gonna do it for real someday."
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Jungkook can't help but chuckle at the thought, suddenly shy again as he turns towards Yoongi and hides his face against the side of Yoongi's neck. There's something intoxicating about suddenly feeling free to express all of his hopes and dreams in a way that he never had the chance to at home. Back in Seoul, each day passes with an undercurrent of stress, Jungkook constantly trying to figure out a way to meet his parent's expectations without making himself miserable in the process. Out here, what they want for him doesn't seem to matter. Out here, no one will judge him for thinking more about a wedding ceremony than about his exams.
"Won't be too long, right? We'll probably be married in like... three years. Once I'm twenty and everything."
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But that's something for future Yoongi to worry about. Now Yoongi has Jungkook's lips brushing whisper-soft against his skin as he talks, his body warm and sweet against Yoongi's, weaving dreams out of thin air. It feels good to hear Jungkook talk like this. He's never been what Yoongi would call closed off, but it's as if something has come unlatched in him now, left him swinging wide open.
"Well, we'll either have to set a time-limit for Namjoon," he muses, "or tell Seokjin that if he tells more than three terrible jokes, we're kicking him out mid-ceremony. We'll let Hoseok take over."
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With a contented sigh, Jungkook rolls onto his back again, eyes heavily lidded as he lets himself slowly take in Yoongi's features, from the soft smile on his lips to the tousled strands of his hair.
"Things are so perfect right now," Jungkook murmurs. "I never thought... that my life was that bad. I guess I was sad after my dad passed away, but you know, I figured I was lucky because my mom remarried and it was easier to afford things again. School's kinda boring, but it's not terrible, 'specially after I found all of you. But now it's like... I dunno. Things are so much better. I'm just happy."
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Jungkook says he didn't think his life was bad, though Yoongi disagrees, would still save him from it if he could. Yoongi knows his own isn't what it should be, that he's grieved too big a loss for his age, for any age, and that his father is no help to him. But they have their friends, this perfect little family, and they have each other, and some days β most days, when he's feeling alright, which is a lot lately β that feels like enough to call himself lucky anyway.
He leans on his side, gazing down at Jungkook, head propped on one hand as the other traces a line slowly down Jungkook's chest. They should shower, but this moment is too peaceful to disrupt. "That's all I want," he says. "To make you happy. That I get to be any part of that..." He hates ever to mention the way his brain so often betrays them, let alone at a moment like this, but he can't just pretend it away either, shrugging. "Even with the others around, I don't think I've been happy like this in years. Maybe ever."
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Jungkook pulls in a small breath as Yoongi traces his fingers down the line of Jungkook's chest. Wonders, briefly, if Yoongi can sense how Jungkook's feeling now, vulnerable and fragile and unbreakable all at once. Maybe it's a good thing they retreated when they did. Jungkook could spend days in this room alone, he thinks, without tiring of it.
"Same here, though. I've never been this happy," Jungkook murmurs, expression softening as he traces Yoongi's features with his fingertips, brushing invisible lines, marveling at how the curves and sharp edges meld so well. "You're really beautiful, you know that?"
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"We're disgusting," he agrees, quietly wry, nuzzling into Jungkook's touch. "And yeah. I mean, not to be an asshole, just..." He huffs, cheeks coloring in the soft light, fingertips tracing idly back along Jungkook's skin as he speaks half into Jungkook's palm. "When you look at me... the way you look at me... like you've never seen anything so beautiful." He trusts Jungkook too much not to think there's some truth to what he sees in his expression, that pure, unguarded adoration. Even if Jungkook is (and he is) enormously biased, Yoongi must be a work of fucking art to deserve the kind of gaze leveled at him now. Like, he knows he's relatively attractive, but there's a difference between being reasonably hot and being someone who gets looked at like that.
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If it wouldn't be so disruptive to the mood, he'd reach for his phone, snap a picture. But no photograph can quite capture this.
"That's because I haven't," Jungkook agrees, pushing himself up onto his elbows and pressing a kiss to the corner of Yoongi's jaw, then on the mole by his cheek, the other on his nose. "I've never been as sure of anything in my life that you're the most beautiful thing in the world. And that I'll never stop loving you."
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Some other time, he might actually ask how and why, but right now, it doesn't matter, all those edges and fears worn down by a day of basking in the feeling of being adored. Instead, he just kisses him, sweet and deep as if that in itself could be enough to convey all the things he feels.
"Never," he says, half-agreement, half-plea. "Not allowed to stop. I'll never love anyone but you."
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Jungkook snickers, knowing that the truth is anything but; he was the first to fall, and Yoongi fell in line somewhere along the way. Still, he's convinced that there isn't any part of Yoongi that Jungkook doesn't like, even the rougher edges.
"You're allowed to love other people though," Jungkook says, slightly hesitant and thoughtful. "Not that I think you'd want to, not that I want to, but like. You know. If you fall in love with anyone else, mm, like Jimin with Tae and Hoseok hyung..."
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Even if he wanted to protest, any thought of it falls by the wayside with Jungkook's next words. Yoongi's mouth opens for him to speak, but his words tumble over themselves so quickly that, at first, nothing comes out. He just shakes his head. "No," he says, "no." It's not like it bothers him that the others chose that for themselves β the arrangement, anyway, not the emotions. If they're happy, he really doesn't give a fuck what that takes, as long as they're all on the same page. But for himself, it's so hard to imagine. He has a lot of love to give, if he's honest with himself, his heart bigger, softer, than he'd like, too easily bruised. But nothing else has felt like this, and he finds he hopes nothing else ever does. He doesn't want another love. He wants this, forever. "I don't think I could. I don't β the way I feel about you β I don't think I could."
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Still, there's a part of Jungkook that needs Yoongi to know, nonetheless. "I'm just saying. Hypothetically," Jungkook murmurs, grinning up at Yoongi and brushing his thumb against the curve of Yoongi's lips, soft and reassuring. "Like if I secretly have a long-lost twin who looks exactly like me and has all of the same interests and stuff, y'know, you could hit that. Or if anything happened to me."
Jungkook licks his lips briefly; maybe it's the loss of their parents that has his mind wandering as much as the other boys. Yoongi's father lost his mother, and for years, he hasn't looked elsewhere for love. Jungkook's mother did. And as much as Jungkook thinks his stepfather falls short of his late father, he's also convinced that it's better she has someone than no one at all.
"Which it won't, because I'm as healthy as a horse," he adds, trying to lighten the moment.
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He hates that, hates how fragile he's become since she died. Even if he's decent at hiding it, he breaks more easily than he used to, cries more readily, pulls away too fast, afraid of everything.
Except Jungkook, Jungkook can see it. He knows and he stays.
"It better not," he whispers, gaze lowering briefly, lashes fluttering as he tries to steady himself against the very idea of it. "I need you too much. I don't ever want to be without you. Not ever again."
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It'd take a lot to shake their love, Jungkook thinks, and how instinctive it is.
He narrows his eyes, carrying on with an exaggerated flair. "I'll come running to university campus after school each day. Give any hot guys or girls the stink eye if they get too close to you. And if they invite you out to bars, I'll I dunno, get a fake ID or something. I could totally pass for twenty, right?" He sucks in his cheeks just a little, trying to give him a more defined edge.
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"Please," he adds, wry, brushing a kiss against Jungkook's lips. "Like I have eyes for anyone but you." No matter how hot someone else might be, acknowledging it isn't enough to distract him from what they have. Why would he trade away the surest thing he's ever felt? Fingers brushing through Jungkook's hair, he shifts closer, lifting his chin to press a kiss to Jungkook's forehead. Yeah, other people might be objectively hotter, but it doesn't take a genius to see that Jungkook is only going to get more and more beautiful as he grows older, or that he's ridiculously lovely now. "Doesn't matter how hot these people are."
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Even if Yoongi found someone else, Jungkook knows that Yoongi would be honest about it. They've shared too much as friends before ever dating to not offer one another that level of respect.
So he sighs instead, melting into Yoongi's touch and nipping at Yoongi's lips whenever he draws near. "I got real lucky," he murmurs. "How many people get to kiss their first real crush, let alone fall in love? And fuck?" He pauses, tilting his head. "...probably should've switched the order of the last two."
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