jeon jΟ
ngΔΈooΔΈ (
lovestrippedbare) wrote2019-03-09 03:19 pm
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There are times, Jungkook thinks, when unexpected changes in plan work out for the best. Giving up on the idea of Busan during winter break wasn't the easiest choice at the time Jungkook had expected it to be the highlight of their winter, and giving into the pressure of Yeongwook's blackmailing hurt on multiple levels. But distance seemed safest. Planning, biding their time, having Jungkook carefully siphon a portion of his allowance over to Yoongi for safekeeping, every passing day made the trip feel more viable again, until the two of them suddenly realized that Yoongi's birthday would be an easy occasion to leave for, and that was that.
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
They've picked up memories along the way. The first night Jungkook had Yoongi stay over. The first dinner together with his mother, with her offering countless thanks for helping her youngest with his studies. A trip out to a nameless beach, all seven of them together, huddled and bracing against the last of the winter winds.
Getting to March isn't as difficult as Jungkook expected it to be, and now that they're here, the wait has made everything all the sweeter.
He takes countless pictures with his camera of their seats together on the train, of the little box meals they buy from the lady with the cart. Of the ramyeon they buy an hour later, when it's clear that the box meals are more packaging than substance.
Of Yoongi, staring out the window of the train car, a soft smile on his face.
At first, Jungkook struggled with the idea of spending much of Yoongi's birthday on the train, but the trip to Busan takes several hours at best, which would have required missing class on Friday. Seeing Yoongi's peaceful expression on the train helps to set a little of that regret to rest, as does the stifled laughter they share as they stumble down the hall to their room in the hotel.
"Hotel Elysee," Jungkook says with a flourish as he waits for Yoongi to swipe their room key. "Is that, like, French?"
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"Such a good boy," he groans. "Taking me so good. You feel β fuck, Gguk, like you were fucking made for me." It's not like he has anyone else to compare him to, not like Yoongi really wants to have any grounds for comparison, but, god, he can't imagine anyone else could feel like this. Nothing could be better than the way they fit together or all the beautiful little sounds Jungkook makes. Every mewl, every keening cry, sends sparks dancing across Yoongi's skin, a shiver down his spine. How anyone can sound so gorgeous, he doesn't know, but he loves it, loves angling his hips just so to pull another whine from Jungkook or dragging his nails along Jungkook's thigh for a gasp, until he's learned how to play him like the best instrument Yoongi's ever known.
But no matter how intensely Yoongi might play at times, he knows he won't get anywhere if he doesn't take care of his instruments, and nothing and no one could be as precious to him as Jungkook is. He lets go of Jungkook's waist, lifting his hand to smooth his knuckles over Jungkook's cheek where he can see the faint indentation that tells him what the younger is doing. "No biting," he pants, letting his hand trail down to rest against Jungkook's throat. He doesn't apply any pressure, doesn't dare try until he's done some kind of research to learn how to do it safely, but he hopes that the very suggestion he might choke Jungkook will be enough for now. "I like hearing you."
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Maybe in some ways, it does.
Even with Yoongi's prompting, it takes Jungkook a moment to realize how he's fallen back on habits, biting down on his cheek to try and contain any noise that might give them away. Finding time for intimacy hasn't been all that difficult they're both far too determined to let curfews and guardians hold them back but it's always been stolen time, stolen space, a vague sense of getting away with something that wouldn't be welcome if they were to be discovered. Here, Jungkook remembers that there isn't a single soul who would bother to stop them. Here, the space is designed specifically for people like them, lovers seeking refuge and escape.
So he lets himself go. Sometimes his whimpers are quiet and overwhelmed, and sometimes he can't hold himself back from a cry when Yoongi hits just the right spot, their bodies in sync, no space left between them at all. "Feels so good, love it when you fuck me, your hands on me, ah" Jungkook gasps, maintaining eye contact with Yoongi as he tilts his head just so, pushing his neck against Yoongi's hand, ceding control. Yoongi is the very air Jungkook breathes. "Close, I'm close."
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For now, thumb stroking against Jungkook's throat, he ducks forward to press a kiss to his forehead. "Made for me," he says again. He's too far gone to clock why that seems to have struck a chord with Jungkook, but not enough to miss that it did, and, god, he means it. Nothing feels as good or as right as this, the way they're tangled together, as inseparable physically as they are in their souls. They fit together in a way he's pretty sure people rarely do, and, anyway, he doesn't care if fucking everyone finds this eventually; the fact remains that there's something impossibly special about what they have.
He's starting to tremble himself, breath falling in heavy pants and groans, knowing he's close, too, but he's not about to stop before they both come. He could reach down and stroke Jungkook, get him off that much faster, but he doesn't want to let go of his neck, and anyway, he's kind of curious if Jungkook will come largely untouched. "Come for me," he murmurs, hips crashing against Jungkook's. "So good, all mine, you're mine." He's said a thousand times that he belongs to Jungkook, heard the same in return, but he's not sure he's ever followed that through to its logical conclusion aloud β that Jungkook belongs to him. That he's his. Something about the very idea sparks something in him, strikes a nerve, adding to the increasing pressure running down his spine, tugging at his gut. They've both spent too long without someone to belong to or anyone who belongs to them. How lucky they are, he thinks, gazing down at Jungkook, to have each other. "So close, Gguk. Wanna feel you come for me."
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Yoongi kisses him. Presses his palm against Jungkook's neck. Yoongi drives himself into Jungkook time and time again, and it's barely an instant every time Yoongi pulls away, but even that brief second is enough for Jungkook to feel the ache of loss, eager to feel Yoongi in him again. And then Yoongi's encouraging Jungkook to come, and there's a small whimper in Jungkook's throat the pressure is so much that it almost hurts, not being able to touch and relieve himself. It doesn't escape Jungkook's notice that Yoongi isn't touching him either, and so Jungkook blinks his eyes open, fixates on Yoongi's in turn.
"I'm gonna, you're gonna make me come"
Yoongi is asking more of him, and Jungkook wants nothing more than to acquiesce, staring into Yoongi's eyes, blown dark and gaze intent. Jungkook raises his hands up to Yoongi's, encouraging him to press just a little harder, his breath grown thin and reedy as it passes between his lips, and his lungs feel like they're afire, every inch of his skin ablaze, and Jungkook can't hear himself but he feels the cry that's lodged in his throat, only escaping once he finally finds release. Jungkook gasps, tightening around Yoongi as his body pitches forward; comes in waves, a repeating stanza that cuts through the stars in his vision.
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Just as intense is the burning within him as he watches Jungkook, enthralled and adoring, as the younger boy presses at Yoongi's hand. Jungkook has never asked him to prove himself, has only ever trusted him, and still, Yoongi thinks, he wants to spend a lifetime showing that he's worth that boundless trust. He wants to make sure he spends all his days showing Jungkook how utterly loved he is, and that he was right to be drawn to Yoongi, because Yoongi loves him more than anything or anyone, more than anyone else ever could. And it's not a slight on anyone else or against Jungkook; it's just that Yoongi knows that what he feels for Jungkook is special, all-encompassing. No one could ever hope to touch it because it has no limit. So he presses a little harder, the heel of his palm notched against Jungkook's throat, and even if the way his breath grows thin concerns Yoongi, he lets himself trust that Jungkook will push him away if it gets to be too much. And the way Jungkook blazes, flushed and desperate and so, so beautiful, makes him feel he's doing something right.
He's so close himself, perched right on the edge of orgasm, drawing in breaths as deep and steadying as he can, counterpoint to Jungkook's. Determined to see this through, he keeps fucking him hard, until Jungkook cries out, clenching down around Yoongi's cock as he comes, warmth painted against Yoongi's stomach. It's fascinating and stunning and Yoongi only half-sees because all it really takes is for those tight depths to get tighter still for him to come, too, a desperate groan in his throat. He lets go of Jungkook's neck and plants his hand by his head instead, hips still rocking almost convulsively as he rests their foreheads together, gasping for air. His climax shudders through him, everything electricity and sudden sparking pleasure, vision gone white as he slows and finally stills.
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Maybe that's part of why Jungkook longs to cling now to Yoongi, hands still bound but fingers curling as Jungkook raises them, brushing his knuckles against Yoongi's skin. He leans up, seeking kisses even as his breath remains uneven, body still seeking air to fill his lungs but trying to keep things calm, quiet, waiting for Yoongi's permission to unravel fully. This is different than the harried passion they shared in the aquarium, however much Jungkook loved that experience as well. This is Jungkook leaving himself exposed, love stripped bare for Yoongi to behold, and as terrifying as it is sometimes to leave his fate in another person's hands, it also feels right. Relieving.
Safe.
"I love you so much," Jungkook whispers. "Just wanna stay like this forever."
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And, admittedly, because resting on his side like this, legs still tangled with Jungkook's, gives him the opportunity just to look at him, lets him take in the sweet sight of Jungkook, somehow at once breathless and composed. Peaceful, Yoongi thinks, and it makes his heart ache with happiness to see him this way. God knows they fucking deserve some peace. "Are you okay?" he murmurs as he works at the ribbons. "Your... Did I press too hard?" He nods to Jungkook, indicating his throat with a flick of his gaze. Tossing the ribbon aside, he tugs Jungkook close, pulling him into his arms. Even if he's fairly certain that Jungkook enjoyed them, Yoongi takes this part of sex seriously, checking in before, during, and after. As long as they're both enjoying themselves, he's open to a lot of things, but no thrill is worth risking Jungkook's comfort or safety. Even as he waits for an answer, though, he can't stop touching him, lifting his hand to stroke Jungkook's hair.
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By the time Yoongi finishes, Jungkook's beaming, his cheeks aching with the effort.
"I'm so good," Jungkook laughs, the sound bubbling over as he leans back into the bed, doubly spent now that he's been freed from his constraints. He lets himself be pulled into Yoongi's embrace, then shifts slightly to wrap Yoongi in his own, a kiss to the temple and a kiss to the cheek. When Yoongi's in control, he's commanding, alluring in a way that Jungkook's pretty sure none of the other boys have seen, but as soon as they're done, Jungkook finds himself simply wanting to wrap Yoongi up and to hold him close. "You didn't press too hard; it was really nice. I didn't think you'd actually go for it, but... god, it was hot. Just a huge head rush, I dunno how else to describe it."
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"Yeah?" he asks, almost a hum, hand skimming along Jungkook's shoulder and down to his waist. It wasn't something he'd really planned on doing until he was doing it, but watching Jungkook describe it, he's glad he tried. There's still research to be done and practice, too, to be sure he's being as careful as possible, but it's reassuring to have tried and gotten it right β and looking as Jungkook, he has no doubt he really did. "It was pretty hot. There's just... something about how much you trust me. And how much you liked it." Next time, he thinks, he won't have to think so much about what he's doing and he'll enjoy it all the more for that. For now, just seeing how much Jungkook got off on it was hot enough in its own right. Yoongi won't forget the way Jungkook pressed at his hand, encouraging him to hold his throat all the tighter.
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"I wouldn't have been able to do it with anyone else," Jungkook muses to himself. "I won't want to do it with anyone else, ever. It's... I don't know, it's still probably kind of messed up that I like this stuff, right? It's not just about the head rush, though. I think some of why I like it so much is when it gets hard to breathe, you start seeing all of these sparks at the corner of your vision. So many colors that you can't get by painting on canvas. And then things start to seem darker, but it's not scary, it's... kind of like that moment before you fall asleep. So you're lying there, and you're so turned on, but you're also calm and you know that no matter what happens, the last thing you'll see right then is the face of the person you love most."
He turns, blindly seeking out Yoongi's lips, hitting them slightly off-center with a kiss.
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"As long as you're careful," he says. "If it's too much, you have to stop me." More than that, he needs to learn how to recognize it for himself. It occurs to him belatedly that he wouldn't know what going too far looks like, and, if he'd crossed that point, Jungkook might not have been able to tell him. He reminds himself that he didn't, that it's fine. He has to put the same faith in Jungkook that the younger places in him. "And it's not β there's nothing messed up about it, okay?" Plenty of people get off on things just as dangerous, if not more so, even if that isn't the aspect Jungkook seems to be into. Jungkook's hardly the only person in the world who likes to be choked, and Yoongi will be damned if he lets Jungkook think less of himself for something that is, at worst, simply uncommon. "Just because not everyone likes it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. As long as we're safe and we're enjoying it, I don't see a problem."
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"Well... if it ever makes you feel uncomfortable, you have to let me know, okay?" Jungkook asks, trying to stem the flicker of doubt that passes through his chest, wondering in retrospect if Yoongi was uncomfortable. Or if he would be, had they gone further than they did. Biting his lower lip, Jungkook shifts, pulling Yoongi closer still, wrapping his arms securely around the elder's shoulders. "I should've. Should've made sure you were totally okay with it just now, I it was so nice that I stopped thinking."
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He traces small, gentle patterns against Jungkook's back, lifting his head to press a kiss to his forehead. "I'm okay with it," he says. "I want to do some research before we try it again, but it's okay." It might not be his kink, but it's not like he finds it upsetting either, and it makes Jungkook happy. That seems like reason enough to give it another go some time. "I think I'll be more comfortable when I'm sure I know what I'm doing. And you..." He huffs out a soft laugh, fond. "I don't expect you to be doing a lot of thinking when you're tied up and getting fucked like that. You're not supposed to have to think at that point." He is. He's the one who should be on top of these things. When he ties Jungkook up like that, when Jungkook gives up all control, he also takes away his need to have to think about these things. He's pretty sure that's part of the pleasure of it.
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Jungkook's pretty sure he'll never quite be able to stop himself from expressing those desires, so it's important for Yoongi to know that they never have to tread that path at all, if Yoongi isn't comfortable doing so.
"Just promise me anyway," Jungkook murmurs after a pause. "That if it ever makes you uncomfortable, you'll stop. We'll stop. There's like, a million and one other things we can do together that I find just as hot, so. I wanna make sure you're having a good time, too."
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"I promise," he says, quietly solemn. "I'm not..." He sighs, fumbling for the right words, to put his thoughts in order. "If I feel like I might be hurting you β not in a fun way β I can't do that. I'm not gonna do that. I promise I'll stop if I'm not enjoying it." And, as far as he can remember, he's never been faced with that dilemma. Even when they've done things that weren't necessarily his kinks, he can't say he hasn't enjoyed them. Hell, he didn't think he was into any kind of bondage before they started sleeping together, but it turns out that sex with Jungkook is helping him to discover all kinds of new things about himself. And there's a lot Yoongi doesn't like about himself, but he refuses to feel guilty or wrong for doing things that make them both feel good.
"I wasn't uncomfortable," he adds after a moment. "Or... a little. But mostly because I don't know what I'm doing and it made me kinda nervous. But you looked like you liked it and it was hot and I just got caught up in it." His cheeks are hot as he says it, a faint embarrassment making his chest tight as he talks it out, as much for his own sake as for Jungkook's. "I guess that's what makes me uncomfortable. Not you or what you want." One of them should be in control. It's supposed to be him. If he lets go completely, too, what's to keep him from fucking up in a way that gets one of them hurt?
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He's not sure that there's anyone else in the world who's felt similarly about him. Even Jungkook's mother isn't quite that attuned to her son, Jungkook thinks. It takes her a lot to notice when something's wrong with her son, and even more time to wheedle the truth out of him. For Yoongi, it seems intuitive.
So maybe it isn't the worst thing in the world that Jungkook didn't ask when Yoongi placed that hand against his throat.
"Maybe we can... watch a video together sometime?" Jungkook asks, wondering aloud. "See if there are things that other people do make sure that it's safe. Though I'm guessing that I'm probably pretty tame compared to most."
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The idea of watching porn with Jungkook, though, that's interesting. It's not the first time Jungkook's suggested it, but it strikes Yoongi as a particularly good idea now.
"That's good, though," he says. "If it works for people who are... less tame, then it'll help us be safe, too, right?" Yeah, he knows, porn stars have a full crew around them to make sure everyone's safe (at least, he hopes they do. He hasn't given the production value much thought either), but they still have to know what they're doing. Not that he usually watches that kind of thing for its instructional value β though he has to admit there have been exceptions, even after Seokjin warned him against it, but it's not like he can go to Jin like Okay, so we're good at the sex part, but how do I go about eating out Jungkook? when Jin would have to still look them in the eye later β but, but, in this case, he can see how it would be useful to them. He gives Jungkook's hand a squeeze. "And I don't know, watching it together... might find some other stuff we wanna try."
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But Jungkook finds that he likes the real thing all the more for it perfect in all of its imperfection.
When Yoongi mentions the possibility of sparking other ideas, Jungkook tilts his head thoughtfully, watching Yoongi even as his hand continues to smooth over Yoongi's chest, seeking out the steady pulse. "Are there... kinks that you haven't told me about? Or things that you're now thinking of trying?" Jungkook asks, eyes wide and curious. "Like. Eating me out, for one."
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He takes a moment to think, breathing slow and deep, feeling the way Jungkook's hand rises and falls with his chest. Moving together, always together. "I don't know," he says, which doesn't actually mean he doesn't know so much as it does that he's gathering his thoughts. "I like pretty much everything we've done. Didn't think I'd be that into tying you up, but..." It had intrigued him immediately, he can't deny that, but it's not like he'd thought much about it before. Now, what Jungkook said earlier about trying other kinds of knots and such proves exciting. "I don't know that I'm into anything all that kinky other than that. I've thought about fucking you from behind, but I think I might miss looking at you too much." Which, he thinks, is somehow one of the sappiest things he's ever said.
Thoughtful, he brushes his fingers through Jungkook's hair where it threatens to fall into his eyes. "Still want you to fuck me some time. And I liked today. Being in public. I mean, it was kind of terrifying, but in a good way."
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"And fucking from behind sounds totally interesting," Jungkook adds, beaming as he smiles half at Yoongi, half at the ceiling, as though it might spill out into a sky of endless possibilities. "If you end up missing me too much, we can always stop halfway and flip me over. But it could be, well the angle will be different, and that's definitely interesting, and sometimes when you can't see it kinda forces you to focus on everything else, right?"
Idly, Jungkook reaches his hand down, kneading at Yoongi's ass, still warmer to the touch from sex. "And I will definitely fuck you some time. And suck you off in public again. Because yeah, it was scary, but god, it was so hot knowing what we were getting away with. Seeing you try so hard to stay silent, fuck."
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Even so, he ducks his head at Jungkook's words, viscerally reminded of earlier, how he'd struggled to keep quiet so no one would catch them. He's usually careful, knowing the last thing he needs is to get caught by his dad, but this was something else entirely, the risk even higher, the thrill even greater. "God, you too," he says, barely an exhale. "That was... really hot. And, yeah, let's try that sometime, from behind. Worst that happens is we don't like it as much." He strokes his hand slowly up and down Jungkook's side as he talks, watching him. There's something weirdly sweet about Jungkook when he's like this. He's just so excited and curious, and it helps coax Yoongi to meet him halfway there. He shrugs. "I don't know. I feel like I'm still figuring things out, but I like trying things with you."
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Perhaps his claims are getting more outlandish by the second, aided by that constant rush of serotonin, but if there's a time to be foolishly in love, this weekend seems to be it. Jungkook takes a moment to wriggle, settling deeper against the sheets and barely suppressing the desire to wrinkle his nose over the clamminess of their skin. Instead, he reaches up to trace Yoongi's features with his fingertips, lingering by the curve of his lashes, the corner of his smile.
"I don't think I've ever been happier than I am today," Jungkook murmurs.
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It feels right now like he has everything he could ever want. Hand skimming back down to the small of Jungkook's back, he leans closer, presses their foreheads gently together. "Me either," he says, soft. "I love you so much." There's nothing here but them β no school pressure, no parents to ignore or hurt them, nothing but the way their bodies feel tangled together like this, the gentleness of Jungkook's touch and voice. There's just something about being together like this that seems to clear away the shadows in his head, leaving him calm and content in a way he can't remember being before they started dating.
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But the real thing is so much more than smiles. Jungkook feels it in his every breath, in the flush that spreads through his cheeks, the tingle of excitement that sparks across his skin. Being with Yoongi is both electrifying and calming at once, the excitement of knowing that he's finally whole now that he's found his better half.
His mother would laugh at him for thinking so, but Jungkook can't help but sense in his gut that Yoongi is the one he'll be loving for the rest of his life. They fit too well together for that not to be the case.
"Gonna marry you someday," Jungkook murmurs, pleased with the thought as he closes his eyes and enjoys the weight of Yoongi's forehead against his own. "Just you wait."
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Their home will never be silent, he thinks. Even when it's quiet, it will always be music.
"What if I don't want to wait?" he asks softly. He's pretty sure, at times like this, the only things stopping them from just eloping are that their marriage isn't legal yet and that their friends would kill them. "Just wanna be with you."
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